TSoA: Chapter 27: Isis Kicks Ass (No, Really)
Murphy is still “quietly fuming” (hell, I’m surprised that he’s quiet about it) as they leave the CIA building. But Isis actually talks him down:
“You and Welsh have a history. I just think he’s stonewalling because he doesn’t like you.”
Of course, sensible though Isis is, we know she’s wrong. It’s a conspiracy, I tells ya! A conspiracy with UFOs and international bankers and black helicopters to keep the ark a secret!
To further placate him, Isis suggests a little tour of Washington before Murph catches his flight back to North Carolina. (Wait, he flew all the way there when he wasn’t even assured he would get what he wanted? The hell?)
So, why is it that the action sequences slow this movie down?
-Tom Servo, MST3K, #516 Alien from L.A.
Isis quickly sees that their cab is not going towards the Washington Monument, as she had directed. (Take Murphy to the most phallic monument in the world—sounds appropriate to me!) Then the cab stops and two big goons with guns squash in with Our Heroes.
A word Levi had spoken sprang into [Murphy's] mind.
Which meant he would need to be careful.
Um, Murph, you’re already in a cab with two armed thugs. Methinks the time to be careful has already passed.
The goons blindfold them and take them to what looks like an interrogation room.
And let’s just say that Murphy doesn’t have the mad manipulation skillz of Black Widow:
“Considering how many important people you’ve riled up, you don’t look like much,” [the goon] said.
Side note: I’m like it that Murphy gets insulted a lot.
“Which important people would that be exactly?” Murphy asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.
The man scowled. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe I’m the one with the gun. That means I get to ask the questions.”
HA! Murphy got told!
Not that it much matters, because the goons are only supposed to kill them, not interrogate them.
But it’s okay because ISIS SAVES THE DAY AGAIN.
I can’t even believe I’m writing this in this book, but she does. She fakes a seizure, distracting the goons for a moment.
“I hope you’re doing what I think you’re doing,” Murphy muttered under his breath…
MURPHY, GET WITH THE PROGRAM!
a. Isis travelled to other countries with you, just the two of you—don’t you think she would have mentioned a seizure disorder?
b. Whether she’s faking or not, does it really matter at this precise moment?
Anyway, Murphy goes with it, kicking the one goon where the sun don’t shine, while Isis JUMPS onto the other one, holding on with her handcuffed hands.
But in a second, one of the goons gets the drop on Murph, so ISIS SHOOTS HIM IN THE HEAD.
Er, the goon. Not Murphy.
And from a “fighting stance,” Murphy dispenses the last goon, and they beat cheeks out of there.
WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE???
DID I PICK UP A DIFFERENT BOOK BY ACCIDENT???