Babylon Rising, Chapter 38

Time for the Murphys to get to church!  They are greeted at the open front door (Hear that, Paul?  Open front door.  Dumbass.) by Reverend Wagoner, or “Pastor Bob,” as Murph calls him. 

He was dressed in comfortable slacks and a sport jacket over a green polo shirt that showed a hint of a paunch. 

Hmmm, the only other character mentioned as having a paunch is the evil Dean Fallworth.  Guess it’s okay for Pastor Bob to have one, though.  He’s a Christian.

With his tanned features and thinning white hair, he looked as if he’d just come off the golf course.  Which he probably had.

I had no idea that hair type and color had anything to do with golfing habits. 

Though now we see the true difference between Dean Fallworth and Pastor Bob.  Both have paunches, but Fallworth is pale and Bob is tanned.  As cool as the authors seem to think this makes Bob, it makes me give the cool points to Fallworth, for being aware of the dangers of too much UV exposure. 

“Folks are pretty excited about your discovery of this Serpent piece, Murphy,” says Bob.

You’d think the congregation wouldn’t be the only ones.  Isn’t Murph the guy who loves to be on “cable television specials”?  You’d think Murph would either let everyone know (media, the university, etc), or nobody until he had the entire Serpent.

Murph responds:

“As long as you don’t want me up at the pulpit, talking about it in front of everybody, Bob.  You know I come here for a break from all that.  But don’t you put me to sleep, okay?”

So, Murph comes to church for a break from talking about himself, to hear someone else talk about him. 

“Come on, Laura, let’s see if we can get a front-row seat,  What do the kids call it—the mosh pit?”

Clunk.

Oh, and it’s always nice to have a front row seat for a sermon that’s all about how awesome you are.

Murph and Laura head in to find Shari, who is all upset because she can’t find Paul.  Quite naturally, she assumed he would come in the open front door of the church, and thus it does not occur to her that he snuck around the back, went down some dark stairs, and is now lying below them, unconscious.

Meanwhile, down in that very basement, Talon is slapping Chuck around, because Talon has “a use for Chuck tonight and not a lot of time.”

Turns out that the plan the whole time was to dump Paul in the basement.  Which requires that Talon knew that Paul was such a doofus that he would wander around a dark basement by himself, but whatever.

Turns out that the “use” of Chuck is that Chuck is carrying a backpack.  Chuck can’t get the backpack off from his shoulders because his jacket is too tight.  Talon slashes off Chuck’s jacket and takes the backpack.

Oh, I know, this all sounds really stupid and pointless, but actually it’s…okay, these details really are stupid and pointless.  But they are there, nonetheless.

So, that use?  Carrying the backpack?  That’s it.  That’s all Chuck was good for.  Talon slashes Chuck’s throat on the spot, and leaves him in the basement, dead.

And trust me, this will turn out to be an even more idiotic plan than it seems right now.

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Posted on June 2, 2010, in Babylon Rising, Books. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. …Light Yagami has nothing on Talon when it comes to ridiculous and needlessly circuitous plots. I mean all that work with Chuck so that he won’t have to carry a backpack? That Chuck somehow is too incompetent to carry correctly?

    To quote Smithers: “He’s crossed that line between everyday villainy and cartoonish super-villainy.”

  2. If Talon had ripped off Chuck’s shirt and then there’d been a pervtastic sex scene, I would’ve bought this book ages ago…

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