Soon: Chapter 5: Coker
As Paul Apostle and Larry Coker (Cry Ark Lore) enjoy their fish dinner at Smyrna’s Sole Emporium, a thought occurs to me: wasn’t World War III a nuclear war?
Why, yes. Yes, I believe it was. From Chapter 1:
Conflict between Asian religious factions in the South China Sea resulted in the launching of two nuclear warheads. A colossal chunk of southern China, including Kowloon, was literally separated from the rest of the continent.
Now, I am far from an expert in the long-term and long-distance effects of radiation. Still, reading about Smyrna’s Sole Emporium does rather put me in mind of that fish from The Simpsons.
Anyway, over their radioactive fish dinner, Coker explains the plan to Paul, and, of course, proves to be an Atheist Bad Guy (is there any other kind?):
Coker gathered up the papers and packed them away. “If you don’t mind, I want to go in with my people on the first wave, since we’re used to working as a team.”
“Makes sense,” Paul said, disappointed.
“There’ll be more than enough action,” Coker said. “We’re gonna have us some fun!”
To end the meal, Paul acts like an ass and Coker becomes awesome for a moment:
“I got a team chomping at the bit, but everything will be by the book.” [said Coker]
“I’m not worried. And the word’s champing.”
“The correct term is champing at the bit.”
Coker laughed. “Polycarp, champing…that’s another difference between the Army and the Navy. No vocabulary class in the SEALs, man.”
“Sorry, I’m a bit of a wordsmith.”
“I know, Professor. And tomorrow you’ll get to see what SEAL training can do. My team and I will have these perps subdued quicker than you can say ‘Delta Force.’ Then you can play Scrabble with them, or whatever it is you’re supposed to do.”
Oh, zing! Coker just gave Paul a talking-to! Coker, you may Rarely Rock, but this is one of those times.
Oh, and by the way, Paul is actually kinda wrong, anyway.
So, after Coker puts Paul in his place, they each get a good night’s sleep, and Coker picks Paul up the next morning with his team of SWAT-type dudes and dudettes. They carry Bayou Solar assault rifles.
Oh, Atheistopia, never stop being the green, cancer-curing place that you are!
(Coker, in case anyone is interested, is carrying a fifty-caliber Glock Century Three.)
They arrive and stake out Polly’s house. They can hear what’s going on in the house via the bugs that have already been planted in there, and they’re hearing the sounds from the house on their freaking skull phones, which just work for anything, don’t they?
[Paul] heard an animal–probably a dog–padding around, whining quietly. … The dog came to life when a light came on, and Paul heard running water as the woman fussed in the kitchen. She was clearly talking to the dog and filling water and food bowls.
Because that’s what women do, after all. They fuss. In kitchens.
Then people start arriving. Just to make sure they are extra-innocent, they are all modestly or shabbily dressed. And they even have super-secret code words!
A tall, slight man in his early twenties approached the house. He wore modest-to-cheap clothes and a jacket too light for the weather. His hands were in his pockets.
The man knocked lightly three times on the front door. When the woman opened it, he said, “He is risen.”
She responded, “He is risen indeed.”
“Sounds religious to me,” Coker said.
Paul recognized the phrase as an early church greeting, referring to Jesus.
So, Paul, tell us again why it’s so important for you to be here. Because Coker seems to be doing just fine on his own.
Oh, and that’s the greeting the Global Community used for Antichrist Nicolae Carpathia in the Left Behind series!
Clearly, just like the Carpathianists, these Christians are evil!