Soon: Chapter 13: More of Paul Being an Ass
It is so depressing to keep writing about the continued emotional abuse of Jae by Blind Paul. I’d like to say that it will all be over soon, because The Big Damn Conversion is just around the corner, but I can’t because Paul doesn’t change.
Paul is home now, and generally doing everything he can to avoid his wife and kids.
Straight visited every day, and they spent hours playing chess and talking. Occasionally Straight would bring his sax, and if he was still there when the kids got home from school, they seemed fascinated by his music. At least a couple of nights a week, Straight took Paul to chess clubs.
Clearly, the entire hospital is now wise to Straight’s ways now (those ways being: touch people and talk to them incessantly about yourself, even when people ask you not to do these things). They must have barred him from the hospital, which explains why Straight is spending all his days and nights with Paul. Hey, it’s not like any other patients might need a volunteer, right?
Jae is none too pleased about how things are going, though it’s not like Paul was in the running for Husband and Father of the Year even when he could see, so I’m not seeing a big difference. Heck, at least he’s not out chasing down every airline attendant who crosses his path.
Jae is filling her usual role as chauffeur. (When listing Jae’s various faults to Straight, Paul cited that she has nothing to do all day, because all she does is drive the kids to and from school. Way to respect the stay-at-home moms that you want women to be, Jenkins.) Jae takes Paul to the doctor every week, but he doesn’t even let her come in the room and talk to the doctor. This is so asshatty that I can barely believe it, even from Paul. And now I’m imagining meta-Jae telling the staff in the waiting room that she is his chauffeur, just to see the reactions.
In the car, Jae complains about the situation:
“Don’t forget, I have more of a vested interest than you. It’s my life.” [Paul said, because he’s an ass]
“Isn’t it our life?”
Paul shrugged. “Not necessarily.”
“What are you saying?”
He hesitated. Then, “No one’s making you stick with a blind husband.”
“Have I said a word about leaving?”
“You don’t have to. I can hear the ‘poor me’ in your voice.”
I’m trying to think of a way Paul could be more of a jerk, but I just can’t.
Jae, honey, that’s your cue! Three words: So long, sucker.
Still listening to the friggin’ NT, Paul believes he has found out the secret code: In Revelation, believers in Sardis are told they will be clothed in white if they keep the faith. And St. Stephen was wearing a white t-shirt! (I’m serious, this is the big breakthrough.) Paul jumps from there to thinking that the underground is trying to duplicate the 21 judgments, but they’re so frickin’ vague that Paul can’t make the theory work. He ends up dismissing the idea, and even St. Stephen’s book medallion, as “far-fetched.” Huh, ya think?
This is, btw, the second time that Paul has come up with a Brilliant Theory, only to have to dismiss it as far-fetched. (The first, of course, was when he thought Ranold and the NPO had planted a fake Dad-Says-Come-To-Jesus letter for him.) Paul is clearly not the mental giant that he thinks he is.
Time to go to Washington! Paul gets two first-class plane tickets, but doesn’t want to take Jae, because that would interfere with Angela-flirting. But happily, the kids get the flu and Paul can take Straight with him, instead of his despised wife. Score!
Paul totally freaks out on the plane ride, but calms his shit down once they arrive in Washington and smell the cherry blossoms. Straight very helpfully tells Paul that the blossoms look “like you remember them.” Thanks, asshat, you really have turned into Paul’s substitute pair of eyes, haven’t you? Paul whines and whines about his sight being gone and how his life is SO HARD FOREVER, and I’d feel a helluva lot more sorry for him if he wasn’t such an ass, especially because a big part of his complaint is that…
“I was actually scared today, Straight.”
Yup, Paul is one of Those Men: men who think they are never afraid of anything, because being scared is Unmanly. You would think that being in the military would have introduced Paul to the concept of facing fear and then controlling it, but evidently not.
Straight quotes the Bible (calling it “that ancient book“) at Paul, about having faith. Paul rather sensibly asks, “so where’s my healer?” and Straight dodges the damn question with the usual RTC argument that Paul is missing the point of the story, which is to just Have Faith.
This whole bit with Straight telling Paul to have faith is a bit odd. Not because Straight wants Paul to have faith. After all, Straight couldn’t more obviously be a Christian if he was wearing a big sign on his chest saying, “JESUS, MAN.” But because you would think this would not be a common subject of conversation in Atheistopia, and might even cause Paul to be a tad suspicious. Our Paul Apostle, though, is dense as a big chunk of dense stuff and doesn’t catch on.
It’s almost time for Paul to receive his medal for
stupidity valor, but first…I HAVE AN IDEA!!
Give me a few minutes…