Monthly Archives: September 2011

Soon: Chapter 19: The Really for Real Miracle

Yeah, I’m totally not kidding, guys.

But first, a promise: as soon as Paul leaves New York, the next post will be the End Times Timeline post. 

Hey, if I say it, I have to do it, right?  😀

On to the Spooky and Mysterious Vault!

Post-suicide Arthur is scared to go:

“Can I just give you the access codes and tell you how to do it?”

“The warrant calls for your presence.”

Arthur slumped.

Shortly thereafter:

To get the car to reach the subbasement, Arthur had to have both eyes scanned, have both hands read by print machines, and turn two keys simultaneously.  Voice and DNA recognition technology opened the jetvator, and then he had to go through all that and more to open the floor-to-ceiling vault himself.

So when Arthur just offered to give Paul the access codes and tell him how to get in, was he planning to gouge out both his eyes and chop off both his hands?  Because I don’t see how else Paul could get in by himself.

The vault turns out to be not particularly spooky…except…something sparkly is in the air…

It’s a sparkly vampire!

 Just kidding.  Sparkly vampires aren’t very RTC.

“Vaporized silver!” Arthur said behind his hand.  “Gone to powder.”

“How does that happen?” Paul said.

“It doesn’t.  It’s impossible.”

Meh, I guess I’ll take your word for it Arthur.  Not feeling the Google right now.

So, there’s impossible silver dust in the air.

I bet you will never in a million billion years guess what they find in the next room!

There on the floor of the special room sat a man who looked very much like a statue of Arthur.  His eyes were open.  He did not move.  And he was covered, every millimeter from head to toe–hair, face, shirt, tie, suit, socks, and shoes–with silver dust.

Paul retreated slowly.  “Arthur, is that your brother–?”

SHIT JUST GOT REAL, YO.

“Ephesus!  Ephesus!” Arthur screamed, pushing past.  “You have become what you loved so much!”

Thanks, Arthur.  We never would have gotten the whole Midas thing without you.

So, honestly, I do kinda think this is the first real miracle of the book.  Every other miracle could be adequately explained via natural causes.  But if Arthur is right and silver can’t be vaporized, then I think God must’ve actually silver-blasted Ephesus and left him there.

I am wondering how he died, though.  Did God choke him with silver dust?  It must have happened pretty quickly, because Ephesus didn’t have a chance to use his skull phone to call for help.

Oh, and I need to tell you one last thing: we never do find out what happened to the woman.  Did Ephesus kill her?  Did she just leave?  Did something else happen?  We will never know.

Which also raises a point: was it really fair or nice of God to kill Ephesus with silver?  What did he do that was deserving of this unique, horrific fate?

Discuss!