Soon: Chapter 19: Paul’s First Convert
After the gruesome yet miraculous discovery of the body, Paul has important-type work to do:
[Paul] had Ephesus Demetrius’s body moved to a morgue, and had a metallurgist examine the silver residue to see if any was salvageable. It was not.
How does Paul even think of these incredibly pointless and offensive tasks for himself? Is this really the hot issue right now?
“What, Mr. Big-Time Pathologist Dude, you can’t scrape some of the silver off Ephesus’s head and like, glue it back together? What the
hell heck kind of doctor are you??”
Arthur was a broken man. He spent most of his waking hours weeping, praying for forgiveness, and asking Paul to tell him more from the Bible. He took his greatest comfort from Jesus’ words in John 5:24: “I assure you, those who listen to My message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life.”
Yeah, I can see how that would be really comforting to a man whose brother was just Bedazzled(TM) to death by God. Didn’t I just read about how Arthur “idolized” Ephesus?
“Ha-HA! I’ve got mine, Effie! And you thought you were sooooo cool. Well, in yo face, bro! Who’s in Hell now, huh, HUH?”
At least Arthur’s newfound sociopathy will help him fit right in with the rest of the RTCs.
So, Paul successfully converts Arthur, and Arthur immediately wants to donate a bunch of his money to the underground. No wonder Paul wanted to scrape the silver off Ephesus’s dead body. Every penny counts.
Now, you would think that having this genuine, really-for-real miracle dropped into his lap, Paul would be ecstatic. Here is evidence, people! Really real evidence that cannot be explained away, a truly, Godly, silvery miracle. Surely when Paul “accidentally” leaks word of this miracle to the populace, at least a few people’s eyes will be opened to the truth, right?
Well, no. Because Paul has decided to cover up the entire incident.
Seriously. How he is able to do this, I’m sure I don’t know. He tells Koontz that Ephesus just got accidentally locked in the vault and suffocated. That is ridiculous to begin with, because presumably that gigantic, multi-room vault is airtight, and thus would have enough air to sustain one guy for quite some time. He’d die of thirst first.
Also, how many witnesses does Paul have to bribe to keep this whole thing under wraps? The two guards (assuming they ever recover, not that Paul gives a crap about them), the doctors and other attendants who removed and presumably examined the body. Quite the little conspiracy our newly-Godly Paul has cooked up for himself.
But the readers aren’t supposed to worry our pretty little heads about such things! The important thing is that Paul made a convert, and thus has decided to join the Watchmen. Or rather,
“It seems to have been decided for me.”
Paul seems quite happy to have his free will usurped by the Holy Bedazzler.