‘Twas the Night Before: Chapter 3: Tom and Noella, Part Five
I’m gonna cover Tom and Noella’s past relationships.
For Tom, all we get is that he thought he was in love before, but with Noella it is Different.
For Noella, we get some more (and fascinating) detail:
Being optimistic didn’t mean Noella couldn’t be bossy at times…
Noella? Bossy and controlling? No!
…but that wasn’t why her previous relationships hadn’t worked out.
Those guys wanted to be able to talk during a memorized movie. Go figure.
She’d liked those guys, each in his own way. But had she loved them? She had told each she had. She hadn’t intended to lie, but deep down she knew better.
Ohhh, I see. She hadn’t intended to lie when she told people she felt something that she knew she did not actually feel.
She enjoyed the attention, the devotion, the fun.
Wow. I gotta say that it is pretty ballsy of Jenkins to come right out and say that his innocent, optimistic heroine is in actuality a selfish attention whore who plays men and lies right to their faces about the most sacred of emotions, all so she can be showered with their puppy-like adoration and attention.
What makes me mad is that this is the kind of woman who gives the rest of us a bad name. She tells men she loves them so she can get attention and devotion, men get burned when she inevitably throws them over for the next shiny new thing, and then women are called fickle game-players.
YOU ARE SCREWING THINGS UP FOR THE REST OF US, DUMB NOELLA
All I gotta say to the three guys is: you all dodged a Pollyanna-shaped bullet. Now don’t go being all jerkish and thinking all women are like her.
She had broken three hearts, and guilty as she felt about wounding men she cared about, she refused to prolong relationships that didn’t satisfy her deepest need.
I see. So she prolonged the relationships JUST LONG ENOUGH to make the men care about her, aided them in this by declaring her (lying) love for them, then dumping them because they weren’t Soulmate Material.
Nice. Fracking. Girl.
Our Heroine, ladies and gentlemen.
This is a bit of a short one since I was busy this evening, but I thought I’d end with some casting of the Metas.
You all know how seriously I take my casting duties.
For Meta-Tom, the confused but noble and hard-working and great-tipping hero, Jack Davenport, of Coupling and the Pirates of the Caribbean series:
Yeah, I know he’s English, but somehow he just says Meta-Tom to me. I bet he could totally do an American accent.
Meta-Noella is harder, because she is kept so hidden by Jenkins-Noella, the manipulative, controlling, breaking-men’s-hearts “heroine.” Still, I shall keep in mind her one great Meta Moment, when she tells Tom that she would have flunked him, as I pick…
Melissa Rauch, of Big Bang Theory fame.
(Picture from True Blood News)
I think Meta-Noella, a real Professor Pollyanna who doesn’t toy with men’s emotions, would be adorable with Rauch’s awesome-cutesy voice.