Paul haltingly and fearfully approached God aloud, asking for a miracle. “God,” he said, “we’re asking that you shut the mouths of the atheists, that you reclaim ground won by our enemies. We pray You will act in such a powerful and supernatural way that even the armies of the United Seven States will know it’s you and that they will cower. God, we need you to do something.”
Musings on Themes, the Cover, and the First Few Pages
Prologue: Calendars and Phone Porn
Prologue: Idiots and Phones and the Mark of the Beast
Prologue: Subtlety and Violent Death
Chapter 1: It’s a Very Atheist Wintermas
Chapter 1: Our Hero and His Godly Wife…Sorta
Chapter 1: Paul and Jae and Height
Chapter 1: Paul’s Ph.D.
Chapter 1: …And World War III
Chapter 1: Flags and Angels and Stars, Oh My!
Chapter 1: Paul Is Dumb
Chapter 1: The USSA
Chapter 2: Jae and D.C.
Chapter 2: Kids and the Funeral
Chapter 2: Paul and Angela
Chapter 2: The First
Chapter 2: The Way They Talk
Chapter 3: Daddy
Chapter 3: Paranoia
Chapter 4: The Christian Threat
Chapter 4: Apostle’s Ladies
Chapter 4: Polly
Chapter 5: Frisco
Chapter 5: Coker
Chapter 6: The Raid
Chapter 6: The Raid: Responses
Chapter 6: Lies, Damn Lies
Chapter 7: Trina Tells All
Chapter 7: End of Act I?
Chapter 8: TEXAS!!!
Chapter 8: Roughnecks
Chapter 9: St. Stephen
Chapter 10: Poor Tick, Poor Jae
Chapter 11: Emotional Abuse
Chapter 11: Straight
Chapter 12: Zzzzz…HATE!
Chapter 13: More of Paul Being an Ass
Poll #1: Paul’s Asshattery, Chapters 1-13
Chapter 13: Awards and Women
Chapter 14: Conversion on the Tarmac
Chapter 14: Checking in with the Ladies
Chapter 14: Bia’s Miracle
Chapter 14: And now for…the rest of…the conversion
Chapter 15: Forget It
Chapter 15: Miracles and Changes
Chapter 15: Christianese
Chapter 16: Salty
Chapter 16: I C Wut U Did
Chapter 16: And Yet More Lies
Chapter 16: Headhunting
Chapter 17: Accolades and Hatred
Chapter 17: Curses!
Chapter 17: New York State of Mind
Soon and Silenced: Populations
Chapter 17: Paul and Poor People
Chapter 18: Paul and Rich People
Chapter 18: The Very Intense Interrogation
Chapter 18: Call Me Phyllis
Chapter 19: A Christian Grieves
Chapter 19: The Really For Real Miracle
Chapter 19: Paul’s First Convert
The Rapture Timeline Question
Chapter 20: Jae Kicks Ass
Chapter 20: The Most Exciting Kidnapping Ever
Chapter 20: Part of the Community
Chapter 21: The Mother Ship
Chapter 21: Totally Unjust
Chapters 21-22: Vegas, Baby!
Chapter 22: Thyatira’s
Chapters 22-23: Paul and the Whores
Chapter 23: Angela and the Whores
Chapter 24: The Big Date
Chapters 24-25: Paul’s Recruit
Chapters 25-26: Apostle. Paul Apostle.
Chapter 27: The Big Confession, Finally
Chapter 27: Busted Again
Chapter 28: Hollywood Crime
Chapter 28: HOLYwood Wealth
Chapter 28: Teh Movies!!!
Chapters 28-29: Pennies and Celluloid
Chapter 29: Four-Eyes
Chapter 29: Reign of Not Enough Terror
Chapter 30: Specs and Jealousy
Chapter 30: Anger and Inhumanity
Chapter 30: The (Black) Infiltrator
Chapter 30: Drinking and Ignorance
Chapter 31: Human Fishy Christian Things
Chapter 31: Tribulation Plans
Chapter 31: Brochures and True Christianity
Chapters 31-32: I Can Gideon Better Than You
Chapter 32: Yeah, You’re a Big Help
Chapters 32-33: De Plane, De Plane!!!
Chapter 33: De Plane Goes Down
Chapter 33: Paul’s Big Plan(s)
Chapter 34: Fast Food and the Fate of Barton
Chapter 34: The Manifesto and Jae
Chapter 35: Jae Apologizes More
Chapter 35: It’s Going Down…Or Not
Chapter 35: My Own Private Fountain
Chapter 36: Slinky Clothes
Chapter 36: More Party!
Paul’s Asshattery, Chs. 14-36
Chapter 36: The End?
Soon and Silenced: Not Quite the End Yet