‘Twas the Night Before: Epilogue: And the Joker Got Away

The epilogue of ‘Twas the Night Before is only one half of a page, but holy crap do we get some fun.

Tom and Noella get married on December 26th.  So now they’ll have their anniversary on the date Noella thought was her birthday.

Man, this is just gonna suck so hard for them when it comes to presents.  Within one 72-hour period are Noella’s birthday, Christmas, and the anniversary.

Noella is just going to go through the rest of her life getting one gift for three different occasions.

I’d feel sorry for her, but she’s a big jerk.


Noella’s friend Sue is the matron of honor, which only makes sense.  I’m fine with that.

FatUgly Rufus both gives away Noella and is the best man.

Heh, guess Noella let go of that whole “you father should stand up with you and family is forever” thing.  And I notice they didn’t wait until brother Tim was out of prison.

I guess Santa is the only family Noella needs.  😉

And I can tell you that if it was my wedding, I would just love for a man to “give me away” when I had known him for a grand total of EIGHT MONTHS.

Because the idea of nobody giving away the bride is just plain ridiculous.


Betsy Taylor, of the Tom-made pseudo-Santa necklace, serves as flower girl.  Because it’s PERFECTLY NORMAL to ask a girl you’ve met exactly ONCE to be your flower girl.


And this wouldn’t be a LaJenkinsian novel without the humiliating come-uppance of the “villains” of the piece: those people who have the audacity to dislike, annoy, or even slightly inconvenience our “heroes”:

Gary Noyer mistook Dr. Connie Ng’s car for Tom’s and affixed four pounds of Limburger cheese to the engine.  Dr. Ng has filed suit.

You remember Dr. Ng, right?  Noella’s department chair, who wrote Noella that “nasty” e-mail JUST BECAUSE Noella took four days off without notice?

Guess it’s a good thing they both got what they deserved, eh? 


Oh well, I give poor Gary Noyer points for using a German cheese.

I guess.

Anyway, as Tom and Noella ride off into the sunset with their interlocking Santa necklaces, I hope you enjoyed this Special Wintermas Special.

Now that it is 2012, we shall return to our regularly scheduled Soon critique.

But for now…


(Picture from Wikipedia)

Posted on January 1, 2012, in Books, Christmas, Twas the Night Before. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Happy New Year!

  2. Firedrake (in a Jenkins book, "Bob Herrytic")


    And if only we cared about any of these cardboard characters, we might be interested in what happened to them.

    Noella is going to spend the rest of her life guilting Tom into getting her presents whenever she wants them…

  3. Yay! Been missing Soon.
    Happy new year!

  4. Happy New Year!

    I’m looking forward to Soon critique. 😉

  5. I’m very confused. What on earth kind of circumstances would ensure that Tom’s car is in the same vicinity as Dr. Ng’s car? The wedding? But why would Dr. Ng have been invited? You don’t invite your boss to your wedding unless you’re trying to score major points or unless you guys are actually friends. (I think we can go with a big “No!” on both of these in Noella’s case.) Or was Tom picking up Noella from her office on Christmas Day, because she’s so dedicated to her job and her students that she’s there every single solitary day? But then why would Dr. Ng be there too, and how would Noyer even know about Noella’s dedication? *stops thinking before brain hurts any more*

    Happy New Year, everyone, and here’s hoping we all have a better future than Tom and Noella! 😀

    • Does Noella even have any friends besides Sue? Maybe when it came time to write the guest list she realized she didn’t actually have anyone but Mom, Grandma, and Sue, and in desperation expanded the list to include all the female humans she had any kind of relationship with whatsoever.

      Alternatively, she’s one of those people who just decides they’re your friend and acts accordingly despite all your efforts to be unfriendly-yet-still-professional, kinda like Gul Dukat and Captain Sisko on Star Trek:DS9. Dr Ng attended due to a combination of Bile Fascination and For Teh Lulz, and would totally have ducked out early if her car’s engine hadn’t been Limburgered.

  6. Happy New Year and an EoA Post Too! 😛

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