Silenced and The Secret on Ararat: I’m on the Fence–Help Me!!!

Soon is drawing to it’s exciting, Holywood climax. 

And I am in a bit of a conundrum.

Y’see, I’ve reviewed the first book in the Babylon Rising series, and I’m almost done with the first book in the Underground Zealot series. 

BUT WHAT TO DO NEXT?????

As I mentioned recently, dealing with the utter asshattishness and despicable emotional abuse of Paul Apostle almost makes me miss Michael Murphy.

And I admit there is a great appeal to dealing with LaHaye’s takes on creationism and Noah’s Ark.

And yet…and yet…

Soon, as you shall soon see, ends on something of a cliffhanger.  And Silenced features Paul Apostle gallivanting all over Europe, utterly failing at being a double agent, as opposed to Paul gallivanting all over the United Seven States of America, utterly failing at being a double agent.

***

In Silenced:

Paul goes to Europe.

Jae reads the Book of Acts.

Ranold and Bia monitor Paul.

Paul lectures underground Christians about Jesus.

***

In The Secret on Ararat:

Michael goes to Turkey.

Paul Wallach reads Richard Dawkins.

Shane and Stephanie monitor Michael.

Michael lectures everyone about Jesus.

***

Thoughts?  Opinions?  Unearthed Dead Sea Scrolls?

WHAT SHALL I CRITIQUE NEXT???

 

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Posted on January 28, 2012, in Babylon Rising, Books, Silenced, Soon, The Secret on Ararat. Bookmark the permalink. 35 Comments.

  1. I’m leaning to Secret, because I’m curious about how this mook is going to describe Dawkins.

  2. Well, they sound about the same. I’m going to have to go with “Silence,” though, because “the wrath of God descends” is just a hilarious phrase to me.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy

      In Silenced:

      Paul goes to Europe.

      Jae reads the Book of Acts.

      Ranold and Bia monitor Paul.

      Paul lectures underground Christians about Jesus.

      I know cover blurbs often have little to do with the actual story contents, but how can anyone describe the above as “The Wrath of God Descends” (and it really should have an exclamation point) without using drugs?

  3. I’m going to be arbitrary. Ruby, put one book in your left hand and the other in your right.

    OK, ready?

    . . . Whichever book you obtained most recently, review first. If you obtained them at the same time, choose the one you’ve currently got in your left hand. Problem solved!

    • Headless Unicorn Guy

      Ruby, if you need to cleanse your neurons before diving into another Christianese Best-Seller, I would suggest some of the better My Little Pony fanfics. The MLP:FIM Fanfic page on TV Tropes would be a good place to start. You need a break.

  4. I read both books, while both are indeed terrible, I read Silenced more recently, and it left me feeling sick and outraged in a way the Babylon Rising books couldn’t possibly match (unless a future sequel book manages to be even worse). The worse I remember from The Secret on Ararat was Murphy saying something like “The theory of evolution is in shambles, yet evolutionists continue to cling to it.” Idiotic, but I kind of find these books charming in a witless way.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy

      Well, the actual reason behind “ARK-ology” is to find Noah’s Ark and PROVE to all those HEATHEN that the Flood and by extension Young Earth Creationism is Literal TRUTH! “SEE? I WAS RIGHT! YOU’RE ALL WRONG! PRAISE GOD! SEE? SEE? SEE?”

      “They keep trying to Prove the Existence of God — as if God had nothing to do except exist!”
      — C.S.Lewis, The Great Divorce (from memory)

  5. I’d like to see The Secret on Ararat next, because I too want to see just how Richard Dawkins comes off, and I’m morbidly curious to see how Bob “Teeny Tiny Font” Phillips screws up Isis.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy

      You need Little Teeny Eyes
      For reading Little Teeny Fonts
      Like you need Little Teeny hands for milking mice…”
      — “Little Teeny Eyes”, classic SF filksong

  6. Flip a coin!

    But if I were to vote I’d say do Silenced, because there’s something train-wreckily fascinating about watching Paul Apostle be the most self-absorbed clueless fuckwit in the entire human race’s recorded history of self-absorbed clueless fuckwits. I mean, he’s monumentally useless even by Jenkinsian standards, and that’s saying something.

  7. I vote Ararat, because there’s a special place in my heart for science-deniers.

  8. I’m a bit torn. I want to see how Lahaye deals with Richard Dawkins. However, being a socialistcommielibrul Yurpeen I also want to see what sort of trainwreck Jenkins and Parshall makes of us.
    Flipping a coin, I vote for Silenced.

  9. At this moment I wish that LaHaye had written “Ararat Silenced” – the book that combines the worst elements of both titles and the best of none.

  10. I vote Ararat, mainly because I work in academia and because I have a real fondness for evangelical evolution-fail (crocoducks and bananas and all that). And yeah, because after all this exposure to Paul Apostle’s pro-level asshattery, I wouldn’t mind a return to Michael Murphy’s mere smug self-absorption.

  11. Both sound like they have the potential for massive nausea. I lean slightly towards Secret.

  12. “The Wrath of God Descends”? Seriously? How could you *possibly* pass that up for a moldy old boat on a mountain? 😉

  13. You should deconstruct both of them at once. Read one page from one, then one page from the other, and so on.

    It won’t make significantly less sense that way.

  14. Silenced, because I’ve read all the Soon posts but am still working through the Babylon Rising ones.

  15. “Ararat”; the best method is likely to alternate between the two series (i.e. after “Ararat”, do “Silenced”, then “Europa”, then “Shadowed”).

  16. Look Ruby, I can see you’re really concerned about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

    🙂

    Don’t mind either way. Whatever seems like more fun for you. When I’m reading series these days, I try not to read two books in a row from the same one because I’m prone to burn out – but that’s reading for pleasure, not for snark.

    • Oh, pish posh. Concerned? I’m just having fun. 😛

      Actually, if I am going to sit and think things over, I rather think Skyknight’s logic makes a lot of sense: alternate the series.

      So I guess that means that we’re going to go from the decadence of Atheistopian L.A. to the snowy mountains of Ararat!

      Huzzah!

      • Hey, I just noticed something. Ararat?

        It has TIM LAHAYE emblazoned in huge letter across it, and you think “OMG! He actually wrote it by himself?!”

        Nuh-uh.

        In letters small enough to miss the first time, the hapless “coauthor”, Mr. Philips, is listed underneath LaHaye’s name. I wonder if he’ll have to put in the de rigeur male lead with daddy issues in it and if said male lead will be an even douchier bag than Josh Jordan, the invention of Craig Parshall.

        • And for people who read Babylon Rising, which was co-authored by Greg Dinallo, they are in for some changes and surprises with Bob Phillips, boylemmetelleya. 😉

        • Headless Unicorn Guy

          I wonder if he’ll have to put in the de rigeur male lead with daddy issues in it and if said male lead will be an even douchier bag than Josh Jordan, the invention of Craig Parshall.

          Or an obvious Celebrity Author Self-Insert like Rayford Steele. (And will Phillips’ Author Self-Insert play sub on the bottom to LaHaye’s Author Self-Insert dom on the top in a Rayford-and-Buck Canonical Slash Setup?)

      • Headless Unicorn Guy

        So I guess that means that we’re going to go from the decadence of Atheistopian L.A. to the snowy mountains of Ararat!

        And probably a lot more lame version of “those snowy mountains” than Tim Powers wrote about in Declare.

  17. Aww, I didn’t even get a chance to selfishly vote for Soon. Do I have to read the babylon rising posts or can I just jump in with Ararat?

    I’ve never quite understood the obsession with Noah’s Ark. “Our God is a loving God who totally exists as evidence by this boat that proves He killed almost every living thing in the entire world that one time” does not seem like a winning strategy to me.

    • Hey, there’s no such thing as a selfish vote around here! People should vote for what they want. 🙂

      I’ve been thinking about that, and I figure that when I start Secret, I’ll do a quickie recap of Babylon Rising, in order to get everyone up to speed. If people want to read the Babylon Rising posts, that’s cool and I’m flattered, but it is a LOT of posts, so I’ll try to make it easy. (Besides, the last Babylon post was over a year ago!)

  18. I would have to vote for Secret, for one major reason:

    Paul Stepola is an asshole.

    To me, assholes in literature are good for two things: To be held up as exemplars of the worst that humanity can inflict upon itself; and to be crushed like eggshells for some cathartic “all (most) is right with the world after all, and the bad guys do not always win” escapism.

    When you started Soon, you warned us that Paul Stepola was worst than pretty much any other LeHaye/Jenkins protagonist. I almost didn’t believe you; or I did, and I thought, “How bad could a caricature of a ‘hero’ be?” Well… pretty damn bad, as the case may be. Stepola is loathesome; the only way such a character can be literarilly redeemed and salvaged is if he turned out to be the actual mastermind villain.

    Besides… Mike Murphy has a sort of goofy, earnest charm about him, even with the weird creepy baggage seeping in from real-life. I will be missing ISIS PERSEPHONE MACPHERSON, though. ;_; The real IPMacP, not the Stepfordized automaton that apparently LeHaye didn’t like in the first book.

  19. A bit late now (catching up since October or so), but, does Silenced‘s European tour take us through the Black Forest, by any chance?

    • Nope, sorry. 🙂 London, Paris, Rome, Bern.

      • Huh, no Amsterdam? I thought if there was one chance for my home city to show up in these books, it’d be when doing a Europian sightseeing tour of all the most wretched hives of scum and villany. I suppose with the whole world under Atheistopian rule there might not be any difference anymore, but that hasn’t stopped Vegas from still looking exactly like Vegas.

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