Soon: Chapter 31: Human Fishy Christian Things

Paul is heading off to find the Fishers of Men, but first he has to express his displeasure of Tiny’s wealth:

Although it was not yet six when he emerged from the house, the gushing hundred-foot tower of water from Allendo’s garish gold fountain sent a light spray teasing over his head and face.  Paul felt as if he were being spit upon.

Actually, that sounds pretty refreshing, considering that it’s late June in southern California, but what do I know?

It was hard to pinpoint what was most distasteful about Tiny Allendo, amid all his wretched excesses, but the fountain had to be close to the top of the list.

U jealous, bro?

Paul had to admit that being waited on hand and foot and having your car parked and brought to you were nice perks.  But it wasn’t real life.  Who lived like this?  People who didn’t deserve to, he decided.

BASED ON WHAT, PAUL?  Exactly why does Tiny not deserve to spend his money in the way he sees fit?  You want to make this a Christian thing?  Well, Tiny doesn’t even know the truth about the raid.

Asshat.

It’s jealousy.  Honestly, that’s about all I can come up with, here.  Tiny is a successful person.  He makes movies that are wildly popular, even if Paul doesn’t happen to like them. 

Aren’t RTCs supposed to be all about the free market?  Tiny is pretty much living that plan–making a product that people want and are willing to buy.  Atheistopia has cured pollution, so if Tiny wants a huge gold fountain, why shouldn’t he have a huge gold fountain?

Hmmm, sure wish there was a book of wisdom to which Paul could turn in times like these…

A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.

-Proverbs 14:30

For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

-James 3:16

So, there’s that.

Anyway, his bones rotting with jealousy, Paul heads off to the Port of Los Angeles to find the Fishers of Men.  After all, it worked SO WELL last time he made contact with a member of the L.A. underground.

San Pedro Bay was already full of ships from around the world, staging and maneuvering into position to off-load fish and goods.  At any other time, Paul would have loved the salty, fishy air. 

Um…okay?  I freely admit that I have never been to L.A., let alone to the port, but would it really smell lovely and salty and fishy, like being at the beach?  Wouldn’t it be more the smell of industry (even non-polluting Atheistopian industry), rather than like a seaside seafood restaurant?

Here is the Port of L.A.  Not sure how it smells.

Paul wanders around until he breaks a Manly Sweat, finally coming across…

…a rusting blue-and-gray metal building that sat on a pier just off the water.  The front was unmarked, but a hand-painted sign over the side utility door read “Sapiens Fisheries.”  Clever.

Not really.

The inside of the building is filled with boxes of rotting fish to keep the curious away, and I’m kinda glad that Paul is sickened by the smell.  Guy deserves much worse than that. 

A young fellow named Barton James escorts Paul to the “hidden area” in the back (oh, woowwww), and there he meets Carl and Lois, the “teachers” of the L.A. underground.  Not sure why the plural is used, since Carl does most of the talking and teaching, natch. 

Carl is an elderly man who was a preacher before the war, and that sounds like an interesting story, but damned if we hear any more about it. 

And I have to admit that “Lois” is a pretty good choice for an elderly woman’s name in Atheistopia.  I have never known a Lois of my own generation (I am of Ranold’s generation, born in the generation gap between Gen X and the Millenials, the late 1970s to early 1980s), but if Lois is older than that, then she has a name that was fairly common at that time.

So, it’s a name that makes sense.

Unlike, say, RANOLD.

This was pretty quick, but tomorrow I will reveal Carl and Lois’s big plans for L.A.

 

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Posted on February 5, 2012, in Books, Soon. Bookmark the permalink. 23 Comments.

  1. So our newest reason that Atheistopia is awesome is that it manages to make LA industry smell pleasantly fishy. Maybe the evil, interfering liberal government passed laws regulating “scent pollution” once they’d run out of things to meddle with.

  2. “Who lived like this? People who didn’t deserve to, he decided.”

    When I saw this part, I read it not as “People don’t deserve to live in so much luxury” but as “Those people don’t deserve to live”. Perhaps I’m reading too much into this. After all, even Paul wouldn’t be so assholish.

  3. Kind of funny that in the world of Atheist Paradise, Paul Apostle still finds reasons to be a dick to people, even in his own mind. It sounds like these folks managed to put at least North America on a path of sustainable resource usage, fairly evenly distributed (finally), so a gold fountain-thingy probably isn’t as wasteful in Atheistopia as it would be today.

    It’s still uselessly extravagant, but Paul manages to be an unpleasant asshat about it in the process.

  4. Oh yeah, Paul is all for humbleness and repulsed by displays of wealth and shit. Just like in New York when the oppulant offices gave him a bigger boner than he’s had thinking about Jae for the past 10 years. I could still imagine a gold fountain being wasteful if there was any consistency about Paul’s dislike for overtly displays of wealth. But there isn’t.

    Plus, seeing how Atheistopia has managed to cure almost all the world’s ills (The poor? Getting far more generous subsidies than our noble hero thinks they deserve? The ill? Cured with super-techonology. The hungry? Fed with genetically engineered superplants? The warvictims? What warvictims?), there’s far less reason for me to be upset about wasting money that could be given to the needy. There barely aren’t any, except the RTCs and they don’t want the filthy money from the atheists. That is, they do want all their money and power, but they don’t want to receive it as a voluntary given donation.

    So… no checks to get into the sanctuary? They assume if you managed to open the door and not leave when you smelled the fish you’re probably okay? Even if you’re an Atheistapo agent and the last zealot that you spoke with was assasinated? And won’t every zealot permanently reak of rotting fish once they leave their clever little hideout?

    • “So… no checks to get into the sanctuary? They assume if you managed to open the door and not leave when you smelled the fish you’re probably okay? Even if you’re an Atheistapo agent and the last zealot that you spoke with was assasinated? And won’t every zealot permanently reak of rotting fish once they leave their clever little hideout?”

      Ooops, sorry. Paul uses the code phrase that Tyrone gave him.

    • I could still imagine a gold fountain being wasteful if there was any consistency about Paul’s dislike for overtly displays of wealth. But there isn’t.

      Overt displays of ostentatious wealth are only for God-blessed, Real True Christians. Anyone else is stealing from them, shamefully flaunt what God hasn’t given them In His Name Amen.

      • Headless Unicorn Guy

        Overt displays of ostentatious wealth are only for God-blessed, Real True Christians.

        Ever gone past TBN Headquarters, that Saddam Palace of a building by the 405 somewhere between Huntington Beach & Costa Mesa?

        Even Liberace would gag at that wedding-cake of a building.

  5. Paul had to admit that being waited on hand and foot and having your car parked and brought to you were nice perks. But it wasn’t real life. Who lived like this? People who didn’t deserve to, he decided

    Hmmm…. Have to wonder whether the author was thinking of any particular person in real life who lives with this kind of excess. Because honestly, when I hear that it’s not “real life” to live like that, I think about the recent story (http://digitaljournal.com/article/313920) about the pastor of the Crystal Cathedral sending out an email message that his wife was sick and requesting that members donate food – the donations to be taken to the church, where a *limo driver* would then relay them to the wife. Because really, can’t everyone who asks for donations of food afford to send their limo driver to pick it up?

    Then again – wonder what LaHaye & Jenkins have done with the Left Behind money?

    • Headless Unicorn Guy

      Because honestly, when I hear that it’s not “real life” to live like that, I think about the recent story (http://digitaljournal.com/article/313920) about the pastor of the Crystal Cathedral…

      Crystal Cathedral is about three miles south of where I’m sitting right now. It’s a local landmark. It also went bankrupt last year after a nasty inheritance fight between the founders’ heirs (and the founder, televangelist Robert Schuller, is still alive but in retirement). High bid at the bankruptcy sale was the Catholic Diocese of Orange, so it looks like Crystal Cathedral will be a REAL Cathedral in a couple more years. (There was wailing and gnashing of teeth on a couple Christianese blog at Romish Popery taking over the House of God yadda yadda yadda. All I can say is the only reason they had a Bible to begin with was the bishops of my church kept all the Shirley Mac Laines from rewriting it in their own image back when years AD were in the low three digits.)

      Then again – wonder what LaHaye & Jenkins have done with the Left Behind money?

      Long-term Financial Investments?

  6. Headless Unicorn Guy

    I freely admit that I have never been to L.A., let alone to the port, but would it really smell lovely and salty and fishy, like being at the beach?

    Not since Pierpoint Landing got replaced by the big container terminal back around the Seventies.

    In that picture, you’re seeing both Ports for Los Angeles. You’re looking southwest, down the main shipping channel with Palos Verdes Peninsula (and Palos Verdes Hills) in the background. To the left of the channel is the Port of Long Beach (including the old Navy Base site, now another container terminal) in the city of Long Beach; to the right of the channel is the Port of Los Angeles in the city of San Pedro.

    he front was unmarked, but a hand-painted sign over the side utility door read “Sapiens Fisheries.” Clever.

    OK. Don’t get what it means, but Jenkins says it’s “Clever”, so it must be.

    So, it’s a name that makes sense.

    Unlike, say, RANOLD.

    Anybody have any idea what “Ranold” is Symbolic of? Or is this another “See How Clever I Am?” Jenkins talent for character names?

    • “Ranold” isn’t symbolic of anything. Ranold Decenti or Ranold B. Decenti is an anagram for something. Haven’t been able to figure it yet, but I hate anagrams. 😀

      • Well, I did mentioned some time ago that “Decenti” is probably “Enticed”. Despite the time frame, I’m wondering if “Ranold” is a future-y version of “Ronald” (remember that “Jae” wasn’t arrived at via anagram).

    • Probably going with ‘homo sapiens’ being human, and thus ‘sapiens fisheries’ is effectively ‘fishers of men’.

      Which, of course, means he’s using the wrong word, because ‘sapiens’ actually means wise, and ‘homo’ is the word for ‘man’ in that case. But I’m assuming that Jenkins is taking the obvious ‘clever’ phrasing as more important than actually understanding what the words mean.

  7. Maybe Paul’s full thought was, “Clever. That’s what Sapiens means – clever. ‘Clever Fisheries’? What the futureswear?”

  8. If the gold fountain were in the shape of a cross and had “praise Jesus” projected into the middle of it (hey, Atheistopian tech), Paul would love it. Actually, his attitude here seems very like the “politics of envy” that RTCs accuse other people of indulging in: “I don’t have this, he does, so he doesn’t deserve it”. Projection?

    A quick search suggests there is still a bit of commercial fishing out of Los Angeles these days, though I admit I’m surprised.

  9. I love (the same way that when you imbibe enough deadly poison you start to love it as you love yourself) the fact that Paul’s conversion to Real, True Christianity has made him shy away from all these sinful wicked materialistic rich etc etc luxuries but hasn’t improved his stance on, you know, his whole wife and kids situation and how much of a bastard he is.

  10. I love how Paul isn’t cheesed off because there are needy people somewhere, but because he has arbitrarily decided that a life of luxury isn’t a “real” life.

    I don’t think jealousy is actually the issue, though. I think Paul is simply coming up with a justification (and a bad one at that) for a rote value, which is common enough among people used to authoritarian thinking. A truly ethical person would have evaluated whether Tiny’s ostentatious opulence was right or wrong based on things such as whether there were people suffering shortages as a consequence.

    Paul is not an ethical person but an RTC rulebot, so he just invents a justification for hating on Tiny’s stuff.

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