Palate Cleanser?

So we’re coming up on the end of Soon, and will then move on to The Secret on Ararat

I’m thinking of reviewing one or more movie(s) as a palate cleanser before we dig (C Wut I Did There?) into the secrets of Noah’s Ark.

Some options I am considering:

  • The Daylight Zone, the FIRST FILM EVER by Dave Christiano, the guy who brought us The Pretender.
  • Teenage Crusade, the exciting tale of a 1960 JALOPY RAID to recruit young Christian converts.  Brought to you by these dorks.
  • Escape from Hell–sad sack doctor tries to go to Hell on purpose, long before House made the attempt.
  • The Fountainhead–yeah, I know it’s not fer real Christian entertainment since it was based on a novel written by an ATHEIST and all, but hey, nobody loves Ayn Rand like the RTCs.  Then again, I’m not sure I can be funnier than this…


Posted on February 27, 2012, in Books, Completed Critiques, Movies, Soon, Teenage Christmas, Teenage Testament, The Secret on Ararat, Vintage. Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.

  1. Escape from Hell looks like it could be good for a laugh. That and The Fountainhead interest me the most, as The Fountainhead is a little different (and hopefully the film is a little less tedious than the novel; that put me to sleep after the first five pages).

  2. “Escape from Hell” — definitely! Especially because it’s *cough* “based on a true story.”

    (I think it aired on “Unsolved Mysteries” back in the late ’80s or very early ’90s. A man with a terrible temper had a near-death experience in which he was tormented by demons but was allowed to come back to life to Preach The Good News. You can probably google him and his story but I’m far too lazy to do so now.)

  3. Why does Satan look like Zachary Quinto?

  4. Oh yeah, Escape from hell looks awesomely awefull. Seriously, the people from ThatGuyWithTheGlasses have better special effects than that. It’s hillarious.

  5. Teenage Crusade sounds so bizarrely, laughably ridiculous. Wooooooooo a JALOPY RAID OMG we got a badass over here!

    That said, Escape from Hell would be OK I guess. Please not more Ayn Rand stuff though! :O

  6. If I wanted to be subjected to the tender mercies of Ayn Rand, you’ve got a nice “Welcome to the New Scum” link over in your blogroll there. Please, no!
    I’d like to see how Escape from Hell stacks up against the various Inferno takes.

  7. I can’t access the video clips from work, but anything with “Hell” in the title gets my vote.

  8. I vote Escape from Hell.

    Although I’m guessing that it can be summed up in the same fashion as the Fountainhead:

    Pastor: You have to say to Jesus, ‘Save me from Hell.’
    Doctor: (to Jesus) Save me from Hell.

    • Oh, but you missed the best part!

      Doctor: You’re absolutely right, Pastor, and I’m absolutely wrong. Science can’t explain ANYTHING and should ALWAYS take the back seat to Christianity (not to be confused with “religion”)!

      • Since I’ve never read The Fountainhead or seen Escape from Hell, I’m going to have to assume this means that Escape from Hell has a more intricate plot and nuanced message.

  9. Teenage Crusade looks promising.

  10. No! NOT The Fountainhead!!! ::whimpers::

    I vote for Escape from Hell as well.

  11. May I suggest the Omega Code, if its on youtube?

    Also there is always Estus Pirkle.

    • Oh, Omega Code was GREAT! Especially Omega Code II: MEGIDDO. It’s Christian fiction done with (relatively) big budget! Well, the CGI is kinda cheesy, but it’s actually partly tolerable because it’s ACTION! It’s got bombs, it’s got splosions, it’s got F-15s going at Mach 2 twenty feet above the deck!

      Omega Code 1 is okay, a little date. It’s actually a little better than OC2, since the Antichrist really comes off as an unwitting pawn.

      But either would make for a good watch and snark!

      • Headless Unicorn Guy

        I remember the climax of Omega Code II: MEGIDDO on YouTube. Spanish-language dub, starting at the point the main viewpoint character’s brother CGI morphs into Satan himself during the Battle of Armageddon.

        Armageddon itself is fought mostly at night between American and some sort of Euro-Third World coalition — a couple tanks rolling and shooting in the B/G and some small-unit infantry fighting in the F/G. Just as the Euro-Third Worlders win and are about to massacre all the captured Americans, everything lights up and the Euro-Third Worlders flash and burn like the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark; the Devil keeps trying to loudly do something, but I don’t remember what; then a light shines from above on his POV brother and dissolve to an animated matte painting of Paradise. End of clip. Presumably end of flick. MST3K bad.

  12. Omega Code 2 is actually great fun. But then it has President R. Lee Ermey in it – and Udo Kier. The Omega Code drags rather more, but certainly has its moments.

  13. “Escape from Hell” looks to have some promise. The way the word “experiment” is made to sound sinister, the absolute insistence that the Devil be dorky and annoying, and was that Chris O’Donnel in the trailer? Man, “Batman & Robin” really was a career killer!

  14. Headless Unicorn Guy

    I’d go for all of them.

    Except maybe the Fountainhead. How a rabid Anti-Theist like Rand became the darling of RTCs is beyond me. I’m tired of living in a South Park episode.

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