TSoA: Chapter 12: Levi Helps
This chapter, we spend some time with Murphy and his bestest (well, only) pal, Levi Abrams, the former (or IS he???) Mossad agent.
As we learned in Babylon Rising, Murphy and Levi have a somewhat unusual friendship based on near-constant tests of manliness, by which I mean that they take turns punching each other in the gut, and whoever pukes first has to buy lunch.
I guess it’s a guy thing.
Levi catches Murphy after class, and we all know that Tim LaHaye never misses an opportunity to take a shot at those awful people who devote their lives to knowledge and education:
Levi sat down in one of the empty chairs in the lecture hall and watched as a handful of eager students plied Murphy with questions. He was amazed at the patience of the man. Most academics regarded the teaching of students as an annoying interruption of their own studies, but Murphy clearly cared about his students as much as he cared about archaeology.
Yep, he cares about them so much that he blows off classes for weeks at a time to go gallivanting off around the world looking for the bronze serpent or Noah’s ark.
They head off to the gym, and Bob Phillips lets us in on Murphy’s workout routine, so pay attention, everyone!
At the gym, Levi and Murphy warmed up with stretching exercises to ensure no pulled muscles.
Okay, I’ll admit I’m no gym rat, but I was a competitive athlete in college, and I was always told not to stretch cold muscles, that it was much more important to stretch after the workout than before.
Then they both dropped into a “horse stance” and held that position while throwing five hundred right and left reverse punches.
Ah yes…the reverse punch.
This is Bob Phillips favorite move. Reverse punches make no appearance in Babylon Rising, but they are over the other three books in this series. Murphy uses them, Talon uses them, THEY HAPPEN ALL THE TIME.
I am honestly not sure why a reverse punch is so much more awesome than a regular punch, but I am willing to be enlightened.
Then Levi teaches Murphy “a kata that has twenty-seven moves to it. It is called Heian Yodan. It was taught by Gichin Funakoshi, the master at Karate-do.”
Okay, I have no idea what that means, but Murphy seems excited, so they do that for awhile.
Then, having proven they are MEN by getting sweaty and half-naked with each other, Levi decides to talk about feelings:
“I got a call from Bob Wagoner last week. He was concerned about how you were dealing with the loss of Laura.”
You know, I would say that it’s weird of Pastor Bob to call Levi Abrams to get him to talk to Murphy, especially since Jewish Levi is unlikely to tell Murphy to turn to Jesus for help, but then I realized that it fits Bob’s usual pattern of pawning off his duties on others so he has more time to golf.
Murphy talks about his grief and attempts to move on for exactly twelve seconds (I timed myself reading it), but it all comes back to Talon. And Levi, because of his super sekrit squirrel connections, knows all about the break-in at the Foundation.
“Don’t worry,” said Levi. “I believe Talon got what he was looking for. He won’t be coming back.”
Oh yeah, that makes total sense, Levi. You know when else everyone probably thought that? THE LAST TIME TALON BROKE INTO THE FOUNDATION USING BIRDS AND STOLE A SECRET ARTIFACT.
But this all leads to the really REAL reason why Murphy is psyched to see Levi: he wants Levi’s help to organize his expedition to Mount Ararat to find the ark during the school year. Because Murphy cares about his students so very much.
“We would need you (Levi) to train us for all the kinds of problems we might encounter [on Mount Ararat].”
Yes, because the first call I make before I go mountaineering is always to the Mossad.
Murphy’s next step is to head to CIA headquarters. He figures they have information about the ark that they’re just waiting to hand over to someone just like him.
“I don’t mind rattling a few cages in the government.”
Oh Murphy, you bad-ass rebel, you!
“If we can find the ark, it would be the greatest blow that could be struck against the theory of evolution.”
I mean EVIL-ution.
Levi lets this go by without comment, because he wants to warn Murphy about another danger he may encounter in his rebellious adventures:
NO, NOT THAT KIND!