Christmas Town: Chapter 5

Jordan has even more things to worry about than I thought.

He’s got a big deal (really, it is implied, his only deal) wherein he has most of the land on which a new NFL stadium might be built, if the NFL decides to make some new teams.  This initially struck me as far-fetched, but hey, it’s been talked about quite recently, so it’s not all that out there.

Several pages are wasted on Jordan’s father wasting Jordan’s damn time, and I feel for the guy:

He resented feeling like a scoundrel in the eyes of everybody in town when all he was really trying to do was save his dad and his uncle from prosecution.

I know, right?  I’m serious—I really do appreciate Jordan’s dilemma and his emotions.

Jordan also does some thinking about Joella (I so keep wanting to type NOELLA) and how he’s attracted to her but it’s inappropriate and how he needs to come clean about the whole getting-rid-of-the-decorations thingie.

So he goes to her house that evening to explain it all.  Clarissa.

But oh gawd, that means…

The door opened.  Nathan stared at him, then broke into a grin.

“Hey, Mom, it’s my boss!”


Jordan likes Joella’s house at first, and makes note of the lovely smell of home cooking (ZOMG JORDAN SCOVILLE FOOD ALERT)

ALSO, all of Jordan’s tension has settled in his stomach.  As usual.

But anyway, he then notices that the house is small and kinda crappy, and feels all guilty, and although I understand why he would, I question whether he should.  He has done absolutely nothing to put Joella or any of the mill workers into this position.  If he’s looking for someone to blame, he need look no further than his own father and uncle.  I’m starting to have the same problem with them that I have with Nathan—rather less adorable than advertised.

“Aw, Mom, you know [Jordan’s] probably here to see me.  About work.”


Joella shooes off Nathan and Jordan tries to get up the courage (euphemism!) to tell her about the decorations thing.  But he wusses out (Please note: I like that he wusses out.  I like characters with admitted flaws.)

It’s pretty cool: he panics and offers to let her sit in on a meeting with an attorney, and then FLEES:

He stood abruptly.  “I should be going.”

He is the cutest thing.


At the meeting with the attorney, Joella ruminates about how much she likes the “other” Jordan, the one who hung out at her house, and this guy, who is all-business just because it’s, yanno, business.

Once again, Jordan comes out the most sympathetic in my eyes.  He’s waiting for a call about the NFL thing, and Venita calls him “Jordie” in front of the lawyer, and then his uncle busts in interrupts the meeting and because he’s an adorable old man (He also calls Jordan “Jordie.”  At a business meeting.), Joella likes him oh so very much:

Joella hurt for the old man, but he seemed oblivious to his nephew’s sharp tone.

What a dear. [she thinks]

Joella’s heart ached for him, and for the coldness with which his nephew had interrupted him and deftly gotten him out of the way.

Heh, bet she wouldn’t be such a fan if she knew what he did with her retirement money.

After the meeting, Joella has an idea that may have “popped into her head courtesy of God“!

She asks for a few hours of his time every afternoon for a week, which seems like a TON of time (seriously, the man’s got things to do!), but, like a sap, Jordan agrees.

I’ve got a bad feeling about this…


Posted on December 13, 2012, in Books, Christmas, Christmas Town. Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. I initially misread what you wrote, so I thought Joella had asked for a few hours of Jordan’s time a week. So I figured that sounded reasonable. Then I reread it and saw she asked for a few hours every afternoon. As if he’s not busy enough, now Jordan’s going to be spending most of his afternoons with her? Bad idea, Jordan. Run away from this fundie woman while you still can!

  2. “Aw, Mom, you know [Jordan’s] probably here to see me. About work.” I fully admit I don’t know jack about how children act at which age, but this seems once again a combination of the self-centeredness of the very young combined with the vocabulary of a close-to-adult. Someone with more experience with kids may correct me if I’m wrong, but the brat’s characterizations seems to be all over the place.

    Yeah, Joella is a bit annoying, but still better than Noella.

    “oella has an idea that may have “popped into her head courtesy of God“ Being god of these people sounds like an easy job. Every idea they randomly have is attributed to you, especially in fiction where the author knows ahead of time which ideas are going to be successful, and hand the credit to god pre-emptively. Well, at least it’s only stealing half the working day from the guy trying to save your paychecks. Last time we saw this, it was used to justify the briliant idea of genocide via dehydration.

  3. Geri Corvus(@Geri Corvus)

    So – Christmas Town has a plot of land suitable for a sports stadium and, until recently, a fully-employed population with money to spend. How come there isn’t a stadium there already?

    • Judging by what we in the UK tend to hear about American stadium construction (which I’m sure is a biased sample), the right palms haven’t been greased yet.

    • The land for the stadium is in Georgia (Jordan appears to make his home in Atlanta). Christmas Town is in South Carolina. Apologies if I made it unclear! 🙂

  4. So Ruby, who’s your pick to play Jordan in the hypothetical movie?

  5. I’m curious now what the uncle was even trying to accomplish at the meeting. Like, was he actually trying to involve himself in whatever business matters were under discussion, or was he just dropping in to be “adorable” and demand attention?

    • Excellent question!

      The answer is yes.

      To be more specific, he bursts into the meeting, then…forgets what he was going to say. So, yes, he was trying to involve himself in the meeting, but this way, Joella gets to think he is oh-so-adorable.

      • The author really does not understand what “adorable” means, does she? First Nathan, now the uncle.

        Somebody needs a dictionary (and a writer’s workshop) for Christmas!

      • Joella: “Awwww, old Mr. Scoville’s so senile he forgets what the hell he’s doing while he’s doing it. That’s totally adorable, and not at all infuriating when I remember that this guy’s spent the last several years running the company my entire town works for, which is now likely to go bankrupt and put us all out of work!”

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Round Up, December 14th 2012 « The Slacktiverse

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