Christmas Town: The Movie

Vermic asks a question that cuts to the very heart of my identity and purpose as a blogger:

So Ruby, who’s your pick to play Jordan in the hypothetical movie?

I’m so glad you asked!  Let’s cast this bitch!

For Jordan, we want a guy who can play both adorkable and serious: Joella’s main complaint about the guy is that she doesn’t know who is the “real” Jordan: the businessy businessguy or the sweetie.

I went through a few possibilities in my head, but quickly settled on Colin Donnell, who plays Tommy on Arrow.  Only a few episodes in, and he’s already impressed me.  And no, not because he’s super-cute.  Or at least, not just because he’s super-cute; guy’s a gorram fine actor.


And he is awfully cute.  And look, I’ve even found a pic where he’s eating.  JORDAN’S FOOD ISSUES.  (Pic from

Now, on to Joella.  I decided on Katharine McPhee:

Katharine McPhee

And, the Uncle Billy brothers.  Vermic has already suggested Jeffrey Tambor, but I could also see Dabney Coleman.  And we do need two of them.



It’s the Commodore!  (Pic from HBO.)

Finally, the annoying child.  How about Max Charles?


He was Little Spider-Man!  (Pic from Media Mikes.)

Whaddaya think?  Any other ideas?


Posted on December 15, 2012, in Books, Christmas, Christmas Town, Movies. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Hmmmm.

    Jordan: Jordan Bridges ( – I didn’t know that was his name, honest.
    Joella: trickier. Nobody comes to mind right now. Oh dear…

  2. Ms. McPhee is a little too… uh, “Hollywood pretty” for the role, I guess I would say? At least from that picture. The impression I got from Joella’s husband abandoning her after getting a good job was that he was looking for someone more appropriately Trophy Wife-y now that the “old model” had done the work of helping him along the way, but McPhee is attractive enough that you’d really have to be reaching to get a “better” trophy than that, unless she is ridiculously airbrushed in that picture. (Which, y’know, wouldn’t be surprised. But still.)

  3. Well, I’m just relieved to learn that Dabney Coleman is still alive. I just checked and both Gabe Kaplan and Hal Linden are still kicking as well, and as long as these three guys are still working it means I don’t have to feel old yet.

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Round Up, December 21st, 2012 « The Slacktiverse

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