Christmas Town: Chapter Eight
The hits just keep on coming for Jordan. The one day he decides not to have a frozen dinner for breakfast, and eat at the diner instead, the waitress brings him cold coffee and stale biscuits, in retaliation for Grinching the Christmas decorations.
That is so frakking professional of her, I can’t even tell you. BOY YOU SURE SHOWED HIM, LADY.
Guess it’s back to the microwave…
Would it be awesome if this was real, OR WHAT? (Pic from WoW Insider.)
Also, the post office refuses to serve Jordan.
SO FRIGGING PROFESSIONAL.
And the mechanic tells him he won’t be able to work on his car for two weeks.
Okay, dude, then I guess Jordan won’t be able to pay you for two weeks. Or maybe he’ll decide to take his car out of town to be fixed.
WOW, THAT SURE SHOWED JORDAN. AGAIN.
And wow, what a bunch of kind-hearted Christians inhabit this little burg, eh? You can really tell that Jesus is in their hearts.
Even Venita gives him shit when he gets to the office. Though to be fair to Venita, she gives him shit not for selling the decorations, but for not telling Joella he was selling the decorations.
And to be fair to Jordan, he didn’t think the movers were coming for another week.
They actually have a nice little conversation, and Venita is the only person so far who shows one iota of sympathy for the mess Jordan has to clean up—a mess not at all of his own making.
But of course, nothing nice can ever last for Jordan, and the brat soon shows up to make things worse:
“You’re a rat.”
Jordan replies, “At least I’m not a hideous fucker.”
Okay, maybe he didn’t say that. Instead, Jordan falls prey to the argumentum ad populum: since the whole town thinks he’s a rat, he must be a rat.
Poor Jordan. I wish he could take some comfort in the fact that this will all be over in a week or two, and he’ll be able to move back to Atlanta and never have to see any of these people again, but I’m sure that won’t happen.
Jordan decides to humor the brat, and sits down with him for some advice. Naturally, Nathan’s main wonderful idea is just to give the resort back the money and take back the decorations, so I guess he forgot that Jordan explained to him that it was something that had to be done for the good of the mill.
By the way, isn’t it funny how NOBODY in town seems to put two and two together: Hmmm, the mill is on bad shape, and all the Christmas decorations were just sold.
But no, I guess Jordan just decided to come to town and be an asshole. Just because. That’s surely the most logical explanation.
For a few days, Jordan manages to avoid Joella, which is actually okay because Joella is busy doing…absolutely nothing. Her best friend, Claire, The Only Other Single Mother, already has a retail job lined up, and thinks the two women and their kids should be roommates and share childcare duties. Sounds awesome, but…
She couldn’t imagine a little apartment complex where you lived elbow-to-elbow with strangers instead of people you’d known all your life.
/lived in apartment complexes for ten years
She was being silly and ungrateful.
She’d talked to God about her attitude every night for weeks, but so far she hadn’t had a change of heart.
“I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.”
– Susan B. Anthony
Joella goes to pick up the brat from his “job” for Jordan:
Joella supposed she should be concerned about the time her son was spending with the man who had betrayed them all so heartlessly. But she wasn’t.
Because she knew Jordan wasn’t heartless, no matter what his actions implied.
Poor Jordan. I wish he could catch a break with somebody, for something more than instincts and feelings that he might not be so bad.
Jordan is once again humoring the brat by giving him the kid’s version of his business conundrum:
“So some guy with a lot of money who used to be a big-shot quarterback is throwing his weight around at the NFL,” Nathan was saying.
WHAT SEVEN-YEAR-OLD CHILD TALKS LIKE THAT??? I WANT TO KNOW.
Nathan also has some sage advice for the grown man…
“…ask God to make the deal go through for you. I’ll bet that rich old quarterback isn’t praying.”
Ha! You don’t watch much football, do you, kid?
(Picture from Huffington Post.)
Anyway, Jordan proves himself completely snowed by the town’s extremely Christian hatred of him, and apologizes to Joella for SOMETHING THAT ISN’T EVEN HIS FAULT.
“I’m trying to figure out a way to make it up to…everybody.”
But it all works out because Jordan once again goes to sit in on choir practice than night, and THEY SHARE A LITTLE KISSY AFTERWARDS.