TSoAL Chapter 33, Part 2: A Walk in the Park

Well, I guess Token Turk couldn’t even do ONE LITTLE THING RIGHT.  (Man, foreigners, amirite?)

The helicopter doesn’t have permission to go up the mountain for two days.

Ah well, I don’t suppose 48 hours is a long time to postpone the trip.  They can just chill at the hotel—

“Let’s go!” said Murphy, slapping the table with his palm.  “We can’t waste time here.  We have to find someone with horses who can pack us in.”

Um, okay.

So instead of waiting a mere two days (what, is the ark’s expiration date approaching?), the team sets out at the crack of dawn, walking with horses up the mountain.

Being a suspicious, controlling jerk, Murphy falls back to watch everyone else walk ahead of him.  (And/or to stare at Isis’s ass.)

Fearless Gum-Popping Leader and Señor SEAL have taken the lead and are both carrying machine pistols.

Murphy didn’t want to know how they’d got the weapons into Turkey.

Pfft, since when has Murphy given a damn about international law?

The Nerd is trying to read a book, natch, and…

…[The Nerd] was curiously uncommunicative.

It’s called introversion, Murph.  You should look into it sometime, what with your habit of talking…and talking and talking and talking.

[The Nerd] was clearly as fascinated by the possibility of finding the ark as Murphy was, but Murphy suspected he was put off by the spiritual underpinning of their quest and preferred to keep his thoughts to himself.  Fair enough, Murphy thought.  Plenty of time for talking later.

Plenty of time for proselytizing later.  FTFY.

Hey!  Murphy IS ogling Isis:

…Murphy marveled again at her reserves of strength and endurance.  He also marveled at her wild, natural beauty…

Yadda yadda yadda

Oooo, but Murphy isn’t the only one taking a gander—Larry the Photo Guy is taking extra pictures of Isis.  I’d say that’s kinda stalkery, but a) Isis has already given her permission and b) I actually find it a bit sweet, under these very specific circumstances and c) the only reason Murphy notices this at all is that he is being stalkery to Larry.

They end the day at Camp 1, which is at about ten thousand feet.  Murphy “explains” dictates that the next day, they will use the horsies (and the horse dudes, who don’t rate names) to transport their supplies up to Camps 2 and 3.  This will take a series of trips.

Man, it was so much a better idea to do this than to wait for the permit to clear, Murph!  Just imagine, now you can sleep on rocks instead of in beds for TWO MORE NIGHTS.  Now you can trek back and forth and back and forth on your feet, instead of letting a giant helicopter do the work.

You’re a real leader of men, Murphy.


Posted on February 7, 2013, in Books, The Secret on Ararat. Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Murphy didn’t want to know how they’d got the weapons into Turkey.

    What, he doesn’t think you can buy weapons in Turkey?

  2. Oh, but see, if they wait 48 hours and ride in up the comparative comfort of a helicopter, Murphy won’t get a chance to show off his Manly RTC Manliness. Waiting sensibly on the ground is for liberal pussies, doncha know. And besides, if they didn’t go hiking then the author(s) won’t get a chance to put one or more of Team Generic in mortal peril.

    Mmm, not so sure about Larry’s pictures of Isis. May depend on the context as to whether it’s stalkery or a cute little crush.

    [The Nerd] was clearly as fascinated by the possibility of finding the ark as Murphy was, but Murphy suspected he was put off by the spiritual underpinning of their quest and preferred to keep his thoughts to himself.

    Oh, please, Murph. Would you please explain how you came to that conclusion, since you absolutely do not have ESP, and The Nerd is being “uncommunicative” and “keeping his thoughts to himself”? Methinks Murphy is projecting his own thoughts juuuuuuust a wee bit.

  3. No, no, the place the coward wants to be in marching order is in the middle of the party, so that he doesn’t die when they’re jumped from behind. Goodness, you’d think Murph had never played D&D.

    You’d think he’d like someone who didn’t talk to him, though – he wouldn’t have to stop talking as often.

    So not taking the helicopter has saved… zero days. Yay!

    Randall Mooney: not proper Amurrican weapons! They might have had to use nasty commie AKs or something.

    Gram Pol: Hiking is for liberal pussies too, mind you. Hiking with guns, that’s a manly sort of thing.

    • My entire knowledge of firearms comes from videogames, but I’m still pretty sure that if you are attacked in a large, open area from a long distance, you’d be better of with an AK than a machine pistol.

    • Of course, where you want to be in the party all depends on how much you’ve ticked off your compatriots to make them want to stab (or shoot) you in the back. Murphy might very well want to be bringing up the rear, under the circumstances.

  4. Murphy’s decision not to wait for the helicopter wouldn’t be so bad, if they would have to wait more than two days and if there was other group searching for the ark. In addition,that other group’s goal could be to destroy all proofs of ark ever existing, so nobody would use it to convert people to Real True Christianity. In that situation Murphy would have a good reason to get to the mountain as fast as possible. Of course, when authors of this book are given choice of making Murphy a protagonist you could admire (even a bit) or making him a prima donna, then they will always go with the latter. However, I probably give them too much credit by thinking they’re actually aware of that choice.

    • The sad part is, there is such a group (well, I don’t know if they plan to destroy said artifacts. It’s still pretty damn vague what they hope to accomplish here), but their plan is ‘wait till Murphy finds the artifact, then snatch it’. Which makes Talon sniping everyone around Murphy completely pointless. If the Seven (They stop at nothing! ™) were putting their own team in the field, and Talon was here to run interference to make sure Murphy doesn’t get it first, that’d have fixed a lot of problems. But apparently, the authors would rather have the Seven assure is their protagonist is super-special-awesome and only he can find the ark, than tell an exciting story.

      • Did anybody ever tell them that directly or did they ever responded to the critique of their books in any manner?

      • That still wouldn’t make a lot of sense. The Seven (TSAN™) know exactly as much as Murphy does about the ark: it is somewhere on Mount Ararat. At this point, they could just kill Murphy and then do what he’s doing anyway.

        Curiously, Murphy’s mad ark-hunting skills have given him deep insights into the location of the ark that could have been found by… asking any acolyte of Tim LaHaye. Maybe the whole thing has been some overly elaborate plan to get Murphy to climb the wrong mountain. That’s why Hank had to die.

  5. I still reckon the reason he wanted to use a helicopter in the first place is that he knows he’s not fit enough to get up there on his own two feet.

  6. So this new writer must be following in the grand LaHaye tradition of never ever editing one’s work. Because I really can’t see how it could escape anyone that having Murphy so impatient he can’t wait 2 days makes him look like a jerk. Which could easily be fixed by substituting weeks for days. “I can’t sit around for two weeks” makes Murphy seem bold instead of whiny and impulsive.

  7. If a member of the team gets bumped off during the hike (as seems likely to happen), I wonder if anyone will remember to blame Murphy for not waiting for the helicopter. I doubt it. Certainly Murphy will not blame himself.

    (Man, foreigners, amirite?)

    They’re in Turkey! He’s the only one who isn’t a foreigner right now! And he’s still useless!

    • He’s not American, so he still counts. Didn’t you realize that foreignness is entirely defined by your relation to the US?

  8. …[The Nerd] was curiously uncommunicative.

    Hmm. Methinks I detect some foreshadowing here, indicating that The Nerd is not fully on board with Murphy’s plan. Possibly, he’s The Mole, and thus fascinated not by the prospect of proving biblical-literalist Christianity true, but by the prospect of whatever valuable reward he’s been promised. Less likely, he’s being set up to be the Token Unbeliever who’ll argue against the Ark’s validity, thus giving Murphy an excuse to berate him, and by extension everyone who doesn’t believe in biblical-literalist Christianity. (Ignore the logical question of why an Unbeliever would want to go on such a trip, or why they’d have accepted him – he’s a Ph.D. with glasses, therefore he must be an atheist egghead liberal. Never mind that there are indeed engineers in real life who believe in young-earth creationism. I also predict that he will be depicted as a wimp as some point, despite his mountain-climbing background.)

    Nonetheless, I don’t think either of those possibilities makes The Nerd more likely to be the first to die. If he’s The Mole, I expect he’ll commit or assist in the murder of at least one other teammate before meeting his Waterloo at the hands of Murphy or Fearless Gum-Popping Leader. If he’s the Token Unbeliever, I expect him to survive long enough to see “evidence” that will change his mind, with a possible death right after conversion – bonus points if his last words are any sort of admission Murphy was right.

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Round Up, February 8th, 2013 « The Slacktiverse

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