TSoA: Chapter 36, Part 2: Good on Mountains
The whole crew heads out the next day for some exploring. Yanno…just general exploring…around.
Things go to shit almost immediately—Larry the Photo Guy steps off a cornice and the rest of the team has to yank him back up again. Then the Nerd (he’s good on mountains!) gets altitude sickness, and Señor SEAL stays behind to get The Nerd hydrated and back in fighting form (so to speak).
Almost four full pages are spent with the Nerd and the Señor attempting to get back to the others, a plan foiled by the Nerd being…a nerd. You know how nerds are, right? All with the klutziness and the falling and the “screaming frantically,” so that big, strong Manly Men have to yell perfect instructions and rescue the nerds.
And then, even when they’re rescued, nerds’ willpower will be gone, which will necessitate Manly Men leaving them for a few minutes and climbing up mountains so they can lower ropes to nerds and pull the nerds up…
Man, I’m getting tired just writing about it. Who invited this nerd along, anyway?
You’d think they’d want someone who could handle himself on a mountain.
As we all learned from slasher films and English murder mysteries, NEVER GO OFF ON YOUR OWN. The hockey-mask Jason or the seemingly-respectable-but-actually-malevolent barrister will find a way to kill you.
And as Señor SEAL lowers himself yet again back down the mountain to collect the Nerd…
The knife was gently taken from its hiding place. The hand slowly reached out and the blade lightly touched the rope. The orange rope exploded and disappeared. One frayed end blew frantically in the strengthening wind.
IT WAS THING ALL ALONG!!!
The Nerd actually sees Señor SEAL slide past him like greased lightning, and sail off the cliff.
So his death is pretty final. Then again, in an English murder mystery, you can never be one hundred percent sure unless you see the dead body.
And sometimes, not even then.
Anyway, Señor SEAL is nothing if not stoic—the Nerd hears not a peep as he flies past.
But the Nerd need not fear. His nerdliness may have indirectly caused the death of his compatriot, but Fearless Gum-Popping Leader has turned back to find them, and saves the Nerd himself.
Oh, and to complete his nerdidity, the Nerd passes out just as Fearless gets to him.
Good on mountains, he is.
I think Loquat may have been the first to predict Señor SEAL as the first to go. If anyone else called the Señor, congrats!
And now…who will be next?