Silenced: The Rest of…the Prologue

Having caught us up on the ramifications of dessicating Los Angeles, the rest of the prologue takes us to London, where we follow a young woman named Charlotte Ian to her job as a tour guide at Big Ben.

Charlotte’s great concern in her life is her weight.  And for a guy who has been pretty open about his own struggles in that area, Jerry Jenkins seems singularly unsympathetic to Charlotte’s chubbiness:

Her uniform was only slightly askew, though embarrassingly tight…

By her three o’clock tour…the hard-boiled egg and two ounces of chicken she’d scarfed at noon had long since worn off.

Huh.  So in Atheistopia, we’ve cured cancer and mental illness, but the big weight-loss cure is still to starve oneself?  I’m not buying that for a second.

We also learn that Jenkins is no fan of ponytails:

…her hair was up in back like a prancing horse’s tail…

Or, at least, it’s clear he’s no fan of chubby atheist Charlotte.

But that’s okay, since Charlotte is killed when a bomb is set off, destroying the iconic landmark.

Though not for the first time:

Jenkins knows how to start his stories with a BANG.  Ha!  I make puns because I am an evil atheist who is dead on the inside…




Posted on July 16, 2013, in Books, Silenced. Bookmark the permalink. 30 Comments.

  1. inquisitiveraven

    As anyone who’s trying to manage their blood knows, the optimal interval for eating is every three – four hours. So, it’s not surprising she’s hungry at three if she last ate at noon. Also, I have to watch my carbohydrate intake and I think there’s not enough carbs in that meal.

    • Too bad for Charlotte, there are no carbs in Hell! Or maybe there’s nothing but carbs in Hell, I guess whichever’d be worse.

      It’s too bad she’s dead, because she and Jordan Scoville from Christmas Town could maybe get together for a bland, joyless lunch and discuss their food issues.

    • inquisitiveraven

      Blood sugar, trying to manage their blood sugar. Argh, typos.

    • There are diets out there that advise you to start out with a few days of eating no carbs at all in order to kick-start your metabolism into fat-burning (ie Atkins and the Dukan diet, which claims to be highly popular in France) but if she’s meant to be starting one then Jenkins has apparently missed the big selling point of such diets (and indeed many other non-low-carb diets currently available) – that you’re allowed, even encouraged, to eat as much as you want of the permitted foods so that you won’t feel hungry.

      • inquisitiveraven

        Dunno about Dukan, but Atkins doesn’t eliminate carbs for phase 1, it merely restricts them very tightly, and by that I mean 20 grams or less/day. If she was starting induction, she’d be allowed a cup of salad greens along with that egg (which, if it’s a whole egg counts as 1 gram of net carbs for the yolk.) Why yes, I’ve done Atkins, how could you tell?

        • I stand corrected with regard to Atkins, then. But the Dukan diet actually does start off with 1 to 7 days on a pure protein diet, followed by a stretch of alternating pure protein days and protein + vegetable days. Oddly, Dukan’s down on both carbs and fat, so you have to eat all lean meat, nonfat dairy, and egg white for the pure protein days.

          So yeah, Charlotte could totally be doing phase 1 or 2 of the Dukan diet, if she wasn’t eating such tiny portions.

  2. Nearly everybody gets this wrong, but the name of the tower is *not* Big Ben – that’s the name of the clock’s bell. When this book was written, the tower was simply the Clock Tower (it got renamed to the Queen Elizabeth Tower last year) and I would assume every Tower tour guide would start off her spiel with this fact.

    • Amusingly, Charlotte is a guide “at Stephen’s Tower (formerly St. Stephen’s Tower),” because atheists just remove the religious parts of names.

      Sorta, sometimes. Like Wintermas.

      • One thing that hasn’t changed in Atheistopia: they’re still measuring things in ounces. It’s the future and everyone’s a secular socialist with a skullphone and a fancy new calendar; but by Jove, come hell or high water or World War III, the imperial system just will not die.

        • Actually I find that kind of realistic, given how stubborn and recalcitrant us Americans are when it comes to the metric system. Frankly I think it’s because the metric system was invented by the French and hating the French is an American pastime, right up there with baseball. Even though we wouldn’t have won our independence if France hadn’t helped us.

          • But a) at the time of this book’s setting, we aren’t Americans any longer, and b) she’s not by any stretch American, she’s formerly-British. (Do they get a name change or subdivided or any such?) So American stubbornness won’t enter into it.

          • Headless Unicorn Guy

            Also, the metric system had an uphill slog getting accepted in the Anglosphere, period. Besides the millenium-old hostile rivalry between the French and English, the metric system was invented as part of the French Revolution’s “Year One” total reboot of everything, and got tainted by La Revolution’s bloody reputation.

          • I assume Britain has become part of the ten-headed beast, I mean United Atheist States of Europe.

        • inquisitiveraven

          This is hardly the first time the lack of metric has been commented on. Frankly, I suspect it’s because Jenkins can’t be bothered to do the conversions, and his readers wouldn’t understand it if he did.

          • He isn’t willing to put actual atheists into his books; why would he put actual atheist-used measurement systems?

  3. Evidently Jenkins’ research didn’t extend to actually visiting the Palace of Westminster. (Which is odd, because it would have made a holiday in England into a tax-deductible business expense.)

    • inquisitiveraven

      It’s Jerry Jenkins; research is for chumps, you know that. (Boats on the Jordan, excessively long Manhattan, nukes bigger than anything in anybody’s current arsenal…)

    • Plus, it’s in evil, sinful Europe! He’ll get cooties if he spends his time there, if he doesn’t get lynched the second those socialists find out he’s a Born Again Bible Believing Christian ™.

  4. As for the bomb, it’ll be interesting to see who’s responsible. I would guess it’s either the newly energized Christian underground (in which case our heroes have just murdered a sympathetic innocent, a strange authorial move), or it’s the Atheistapo doing a false-flag operation (which seems superfluous because the Christians have implicated themselves already by destroying L.A.).

    So don’t mistake my suspense for interest in the plot, I just want to see how our authors bungle it this time.

    • I immediately assumed it’s a false flag thing. Christian character must at all time retain plausible deniability and let god do the murdering for them.

      And of course Jenkins is unsympathetic to the chubby woman. She’s a woman! Jenkins is manly man, who has so many responsibilities and duties it’s hard to watch his diet and exercise routines. The only job girls are supposed to have is took look pretty enough that their husbands won’t feel tempted to sin with his secretary (but not so pretty that she tempts other men to do so). There can be no excuse for failing in her god given task of not being slim, unless it’s for her other god-given task of being pregnant.

      • The pregnancy exception is taken to disgusting lengths in the Left Behind series, when professional prude Rayford tries to convince Chloe that Buck will still find her desirable, even if she is fat and pregnant.

      • Seriously? I thought I was being all fun and hyperbolic with that statement. I worried it was going to far. But it seems Poe’s law applies to all RTC fiction.

        Guess the ending of Soon should’ve qued me in on that.

  5. Mouse, here. I’d blamed the callousness of the Left Behind series on Tim LaHaye but it’s looking like Jerry Jenkins is no great humanitarian either.

    • OT, but in your own blog, is there any way you could set-up some sort of archive for your LB Musings? I really want to read them, but even finding the first page is a hassle with the way the blog’s archive’s work.
      Alternatively, could you link me the first page of your LB Musings?

      • EDIT: (Gods, I wish there was a proper edit button). I managed to find the first post and get a handle on the archive. You may disregard my previous post, should you wish.

    • Soon convinced me that Tim LeHaye was a moderating influence on Jerry Jenkins. That, or Jenkins is trying to out-RTC LeHaye.

  6. I couldn’t listen to the audio because I’m at work, but that Big Ben video got really, really trippy after a minute or two. Is it as surreal as it looks?

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Round Up, July 28 2013 | The Slacktiverse

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