Silenced: Chapter 7, Part 2: Nobody Likes Paul

Am I a  bad and horrible person for being amused by the fact that nobody wants Paul around?

The awesome Chief Marcello takes Paul to a meeting with all the detectives of whom she is in charge.  Yanno, the people who have been doing actual work while Paul has been eating sammiches and playing Super Pretend Spy with Straight.

In one of the few moments of actual realism in this series, the detectives are singularly unimpressed with Paul.  I wish it was awesome, but it’s all fairly dull.  Paul almost seems vaguely on the edge of realizing that these people are doing something of value, and he is not…

Imagine if they knew he was also there to connect with the underground, and not for the purpose of arresting believers.

Hey, jerk, you’re there to track down a terrorist, not to arrest believers.

Imagine if they knew he was there on the international government’s dime to hang out with friends and be “encouraged,” not to help solve the hundreds of murders and devastating loss of art, animals, and national monuments.

After the ridiculous meeting that accomplishes nothing for anybody, Paul is chauffeured to his hotel and left to his own devices.  I guess they figure he’ll get around to tracking down the terrorist when he feels like it.

Paul ruminates on “the depressing state” of Paris, which is interesting in two respects.  One, he is not ruminating on the horrific loss of life of the biggest terror event in his lifetime.  And B, I would think that any city that suffered such a blow would be in a “depressing state,” notwithstanding the unChristian tattoo parlors.

He is so sad that he calls Straight.  But Straight only wants to continue their game of Most Secretest Spies in the World:

“We’re getting word to your contact that you’re in the city,” the older man said.  I’ll get back to you with instructions.  Tell me something about his name that assures me you remember it.”

Enzo Fabrizio.  “His first and last names start with consecutive letters of the alphabet.”

LOOK, you idiots, either the skull phones are secure or they’re not.  If they are, just ask him the guy’s name.  If they aren’t, you shouldn’t be talking about this at all.

Worst spies ever.

“Tell you one thing.  I’m getting a lesson in what’s happening to me here.” [said Paul]

“How’s that?” [asked Straight]

“This is the kind of place that would have turned my head not that long ago.”

“You’d be tempted, you mean?”

“Big time.”

“This all disgusts me.  I mean, I can tell I’m different at home.  Even Jae sees it.  But I didn’t know how I’d do in this situation—away, alone, homesick.  That would have justified a lot of mischief in the past.”

Yeah, before his conversion, Paul was an arrogant serial cheater.  Excuse me…he engaged in “mischief.”  And now, he’s a prudish little prig.

What a difference.

“Don’t get overconfident now, Paul.  You’re still a man.”

“A lustful male, you mean.”

“That’s what I mean.”

“Pray for me.”


“Oh, what are you saying, Straight?  That I need constant prayer?  Thanks a lot, dipshit.”

It’s also lucky that women never feel lust.  Because God didn’t design them that way.

And Paul indulges in some not-at-all-self-involved speculation about NPO International:

Part of him wanted to believe that everyone at every level in every country still saw him as a top, crack, loyal agent.  But he wasn’t that naïve.

After all, Paul wasn’t arrogant enough to believe that everyone at every level in every country knew about him, let alone had a high opinion of him.

Even if they weren’t onto him yet, he had to live as if they were.

Oh.  Never mind.  Guess they do all know about a random agent out of Chicago.

And I’m sure he’s the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being they’ve ever known in their lives.


Posted on October 5, 2013, in Books, Silenced. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Hey, jerk, you’re there to track down a terrorist, not to arrest believers.
    Eh, same difference. Paul himself is directly responsible for a much bigger terrorist attack on LA, and it never even comes close to bothering him. From his point of view, there’s no reason why these terrorist attacks couldn’t be the work of a believer just like Paul.

    Which does make me wonder: Why are Paul and Straight even bothering with this spy business anymore? They have conclusively demonstrated that they have a big enough prayer group and a willing enough god to cause huge scale miracles. And Straight knew that would work without even claiming he felt god’s leading, his only argument was “I know god is still powerful, so he’ll do it.” And he was apparently right. So why don’t they do that again?

    “Straight, Dangler’s planning to release a loyalty oath that takes advantage of our unwillingness to tell a direct lie.”
    “No problem Paul, I’ll contact the others. We’ll start praying at 2:00 PM local time, so join in then and help us pray for god to create a thunderstorm over Bern that fries Dangler and any computers that contain information on the plan.”
    “Eh, I dunno Straight, that doesn’t feel right. I’m not sure that’s really god’s style, and I feel a bit uncomfortable praying for that.”
    “*Sigh* How about a meteor strike that levels Bern completely?”
    “That’s more like it!”

    It’s also lucky that women never feel lust. Because God didn’t design them that way.
    No, women are designed to take advantage of male lusts, obviously.

    Part of him wanted to believe that everyone at every level in every country still saw him as a top, crack, [fill in profession here].
    This is what every Jenkins or LaHaye-sponsored protagonist wants.

  2. Who would ever choose “his first and last name begin with consecutive letters” as a thing? I mean, yes, it’s fairly uncommon, but it’s also not something most people would notice, surely?

    I’m also confused as to why France is supposedly more full of debauchery than the US. I mean, it’s one-world government with one-world culture, right? So why is Paris somehow worse than anywhere else?

  3. Look, sometimes we males cheat on our significant others, but what do you expect? — we’re lustful males, and if we do cheat it’s not our fault, it’s just God didn’t have our backs on that particular occasion. Why are you so mad, honey?

  4. No one anywhere anytime should like Paul. Paul’s mother shouldn’t like Paul. Buddy Christ shouldn’t like Paul. Mr. Rogers on Valium shouldn’t even tolerate Paul. End Times Christian hero’s are just that bad. Also creepy.

  5. I know Jenkins is trying to frame St. Paul’s journey in modern terms, but it looks like he can’t resist taking stabs at (his rather slanted view of) modern philosophy outside of RTCity. Although I do find myself wondering how much St. Paul, at least in the letters we haven’t established to be people just using his name (e.g. Titus), really spoke about perdition. Yet again, we have an RTC assuming out of hand that the main concern of life can only ever be evasion of hell. Let’s not get into Jenkins’s suggestion that this is near to the End Times–despite using precepts from the Apocalypse of St. John, written AFTER Paul’s tenure.

    Of course, while looking at “The Secret on Ararat”, namely the last fifth or thereabouts, I remember that Murphy alluded to a tradition that Adam prophesied about two impending judgements–one of water (q.v. Noe), and one of fire. Are Jenkins and LaHaye SURE they’re not worshiping the general concept of eschatology?

  6. I’m halfway through the Soon analysis and really enjoying it! Lots of facepalming–but in a good way! 🙂

    LOOK, you idiots, either the skull phones are secure or they’re not.

    Are they still using the skull phones? In the opening pages of Soon we got a really specific mention of Paul talking on his skull phone and then clicking it off with his fingers. Since then, it seems like every time he mentions phones he might as well be talking about an ordinary cell. Doesn’t having a phone in your head change how you use it even a little? I know it’s Jenkins, but I was expecting more … I don’t know … elaboration. *Sigh*

    Also, I really hope the skull phones aren’t tapped, because having people listening in on a phone that is literally inside your head is just a little too much for me, even considering how awesome the rest of Athiestopia is.

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Round Up, October 12th 2013 | The Slacktiverse

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