Fireproof: Part 5
Time for Caleb to tackle his porn addiction!
Now, as I’ve said in the previous parts, porn addiction is not cool, and certainly not conducive to Caleb trying to fix his frakked-up marriage. But his marriage is frakked up primarily because he is a selfish, abusive asshole who hates women, not because he looks at internet porn. The movie has (against it’s own intentions, I think) shown this to be true. The littlest thing sets Caleb off, and he screams in Catherine’s face, overpowers her, and then heads out into the backyard to beat up a trashcan.
I’m sure this is the line the movie wants us to see—Caleb hits a trashcan, not his wife, so it’s not really abuse! I honestly would have though that in this day and age, there wouldn’t be a need to explain to people that there are such things as verbal and emotional abuse, but I guess not.
Caleb is once again sitting at his (rather outdated) computer, looking at pictures of the boat he covets. Up comes the porn pop-up ad, but it’s sedate enough for a Christian movie: just the girl’s face, with the words “Wanna See?” below. Caleb would have to click to see more.
Caleb is totally ready to click to see more, but he suddenly remembers that he is now a RTC, and as such, is not allowed to jack off to porn ever again.
He wanders around the living room for almost a full minute, and because Kirk Cameron’s acting is not sufficient to show us what he is feeling, he has to tell us.
Caleb: Why is this so hard?”
(Heh, don’t mind my dirty mind over here.)
Actually, watching this, I am reminded of a much, much better movie (and one of my favorites) that I just saw last week: Rio Bravo, in which Dean Martin’s character is going through alcohol withdrawal. To demonstrate that the addiction is a matter of the mind as well as the body, Martin has a habit, which we notice as the story progresses: every time he thinks about how much he wants a drink, he quickly rubs his mouth. It’s simple, effective, and shows us Martin’s inner turmoil, instead of just telling us he feels bad.
Finally, Caleb goes to the most holy of books: not the Bible, mind you, but his dad’s handwritten Love Dare. Miraculously, it is Day 23, and Day 23 is just the passage he needs!
Watch out for parasites. A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage. They’re usually in the form of addictions like gambling, drugs, or pornography.
Question: Did John know (or suspect) that Caleb was a porn addict when he wrote this book?
Othe Question: So, which parasite(s) infected Caleb’s parents’ marriage? Was Cheryl a bit too fond of the penny slots? Did John shoot up? Inquiring minds want to know!
They promise pleasure, but they grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time, and money. They steal away your loyalty and heart from those you love.
Eh, no worries there. Caleb doesn’t love anybody but himself.
Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present. If you love your wife, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart. If you don’t it will destroy you.
Caleb knows now that he has to destroy his addiction.
So he destroys his computer.
Caleb isn’t addicted to his computer, he’s addicted to porn. Destroying his computer isn’t going to cure him of a porn addiction.
Besides which, does Catherine never use this computer? What the hell gives Caleb the right to destroy family property?
Oh, and as usual, whenever Caleb destroys something, he is witnessed by the neighbor. Except this time, his wife is out in the yard, too, as they both work on the garden. Fun note: Caleb addresses the man, as he always does, and completely ignores the woman.
Mr. Rudolph: Irma, I don’t want you talking to that guy. He is weird.
Mrs. Rudolph: Takes one to know one.
Damn! Why isn’t the movie about this couple? They seem way more fun than Caleb and Catherine.
Catherine comes home from work (wearing the coolest charcoal suit!) only to find the computer in the poor, abused trash can. Nothing daunted, she heads into the house only to find a bouquet of roses where the computer used to live, along with a note that says “I love you more!”
Why do I fear that this gesture of alleged selflessness will be thrown back in Catherine’s face the next time they have a fight? “I gave up my computer for you!”
Seems Caleb and Catherine don’t talk for the rest of the day, because the next morning, all Caleb hears is Catherine leaving. He wanders into the kitchen, and she has left an envelope for him on the table. Caleb gets all smirky, because surely his crafty plans are working, and Catherine sees that she couldn’t possibly get along without him!
This will never stop being amusing to me! Hang on, there’s even more fun!
I hate their decorating scheme, too. Just sayin’.
Damn, that is the ultimate SNAP. It does not get any better than this!
I mean…um, poor Caleb. After all his hard work and effort: making a cup of coffee, giving her one call at work, she still wants to divorce his abusive ass!
I love you right now, Catherine. Never change. I mean, I know you will, because the movie will make you, but I’m just going to pretend for now.
Caleb calls his parents (well, his dad, but his mom gets to hear about it second-hand). John is understandably shaken to hear just how badly his son failed in his manly duty to keep his failed marriage together at any and all cost.
Oh, if only the movie ended here…
But it doesn’t.