The Europa Conspiracy: Foreward: Fascinating, Captain


So I figured, after being up to our ears in Paul Stepola and Kirk Cameron these past few months, that we could all use a little break.

So I’m going to be critiquing The Europa Conspiracy, by Tim LaHaye and Bob Phillips.

Yep, Michael Murphy is going to be a break from our past few “heroes.”

If there’s one thing we can always count on in this world, it’s Tim LaHaye’s infatuation with his own work:

In this fascinating book Murphy goes through hair-raising events to stave off the work of Talon (who may be the most vicious terrorist hit man in fiction history) and the Seven for whom he works.

My book is so fascinating!  Buy it today!

Also, is it really possible to be a “terrorist hit man“?  I mean, a terrorist kills to instill terror, and a hit man kills for money.  Isn’t a hit man’s whole job to work for whomever pays him, regardless of what the boss’s goals are?  You could be a terrorist and a hit man at the same time, I suppose, but not all the time.  Otherwise, you would just be a terrorist.

As such, it’s kinda silly of LaHaye to call Talon “the most vicious terrorist hit man in fiction history.”  So, taking each piece, I think we can all agree that Talon is neither the most vicious terrorist nor the most vicious hit man.

The dedication is “To all those whose study of Bible prophecy has made them anticipate the revival of the old Roman empire,” and LaHaye mentions said empire again in the Foreward.  Yet another book about Daniel’s prophecies, this time with a focus on the European union.  As those who have followed the Slacktivist know, unity and common purpose are Very Bad Things:

What these European leaders [who are cooperating with each other] do not realize is that they are playing right into the hands of evil conspirators out to take over the world, or at least, prepare for a world takeover predicted by the prophets of both the Old and New Testament.

Speaking of conspirators, then you write your book, you should always do your best not to sound like a fictional conspiracy theorist.

LaHaye is very into superlatives.  He then calls the Seven “the most ruthless group ever assembled,” with only one man (the Antichrist, natch) “more evil than themselves.”

Of course.

But it’s okay, everyone, because…

Fortunately for humanity, Murphy knows and is primed for action.

What a relief!


Posted on January 3, 2016, in The Europa Conspiracy. Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. Based purely on the title, not knowing the authors, I’d guess it was something about the moon of Jupiter. Of course it won’t be; observing it through a telescope probably denies geocentrism, and as for going there, that’s obviously escapist nonsense that good Christians shouldn’t be reading.

    I suppose that if one were assassinating somebody for money in such a way as to cause terror (say, blowing up the President/Prime Minister/etc. and his entourage in public), then one could be a terrorist and hit-man at the same moment.

    Talon probably isn’t even the worst-written terrorist or hit-man. I’ve read HMS Unseen, and I’m here to tell the tale. And I’ve read one of the Agent 13 books, though I don’t now remember which.

  2. I prefer my hitmen to be understated professionals rather than vicious terrorists who are more invested in their criminal theme than in killing their targets.

    Y’know, if I were the sort to hire hitmen.

  3. And poor, poor Isis shall see her awesomeness dwindle a little more in each chapter. 😦

  4. they are playing right into the hands of evil conspirators out to take over the world

    Yes, if there’s a powerful, unified organization poised for world conquest, it’s the EU.

  5. Fortunately for humanity, Murphy knows and is primed for action.

    Which is doomed to fail, of course, because prophecy.

  6. they are playing right into the hands of evil conspirators out to take over the world, or at least, prepare for a world takeover predicted by the prophets

    Evil conspirators are trying take over the world! Or maybe they are just preparing to take over the world. We’re not entirely sure which. The prophesies are a bit unclear on whether they will actually do it, or just prepare to do it. But they are definitely the most ruthless group ever assembled to make preparations.

  7. inquisitiveraven

    <blink > <blink > Um Ruby? When were you planning on posting part 3 of my Fireproof critique?

    • Oh, I totally forgot! In my only (and weak) defense, a little elf gave me a cold over Wintermas. 😉

      I’ll post it this week, before we even get into The Europa Conspiracy. 😀

  8. Given the crawl at which the EU expands these days, the OWG is still centuries away.

  9. Oh boy, I’ve been waiting for this! Seriously, I’m actually excited to see you go through this book.

    This might sound weird, but I just can’t hate Murphy’s adventures the same way as LaJenkins other works. It might be because I’m a sucker for Indiana Jones-style adventures (even the bad ones), or maybe it’s because of the moments of decent writing in the first book. Or it might be that out of all of the LaJenkins protagonists I know of, Michael Murphy is… well, I’m hesitant to go as far as to say the most likable, but definitely the least despicable.

    I mean sure, he’s an arrogant, self-centered, sexist asshat of a religious zealot who barely does his actual job (and does it poorly the few times we do see him do it) in favor of going on adventures designed solely to stroke his (and his creators’) already massive ego. But at least he actually makes some kind of effort to stop the bad guys, paltry and ineffective as it might be (unlike Rayford/Buck, Paul, and everyone in Left Behind: the Kids). At least he isn’t a traitor actively trying to subvert his own government (unlike Jordan and Paul) or knowingly helping and benefiting from working with the main evil organization (unlike Rayford/Buck and Paul). At least he shows some respect and kindness towards his wife while she’s still alive (Rayford and Paul again). And at least his first response to his way of life being threatened isn’t to personally engineer the slaughter of hundreds of millions, if not billions, of innocent people (that one’s all on you, PAUL). Oh, and it helps that his archenemy Talon is, you know, actually evil, even if it is the over-the-top cartoony kind.

    So yeah, despite Murphy’s many, many, MANY flaws, overall I tend to see his adventures as stupid in an enjoyable ‘So Bad It’s Good’ way, rather than a horrifying ‘what the hell was this writer thinking’ way. And I wholeheartedly agree that Michael Murphy’s adventures are a good breath of fresh air from all of the other stuff. Of course, I somewhat expect him to end up doing at least one of the things listed above before this series is over (hopefully not the last one), but for now I’m just eagerly awaiting the insanity to come.

  10. Wonderful! I recently reread the two earlier Babylon Rising critiques since I figured The Europa Conspiracy was coming up soon. This and the next book kind of blend together for me; it’s been years since I read them, so I’m glad to get reacquainted through your excellent snarking.

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