The Europa Conspiracy: Chapter 2: The Return of Daniel

Following the precedent established by Greg Dinallo, Phillips intersperses Michael Murphy chapters with Bible stories.  In Babylon Rising, it was all about King Neb and his dream.  In The Secret on Ararat, it was, of course, Noah and the ark.  Here, we pop right into the story of Daniel and the lions’ den.  Which is a bit odd, since it was at the beginning of Babylon Rising that Murphy did battle with a lion.

And Daniel doesn’t even battle a lion, but we’ll get to that.

Here is the story of Daniel in the lions’ den, in case anyone would like a refresher.

To be fair, Europa sticks pretty closely to the skeleton that is the Bible account, with some details thrown in for drama.  For example, the satraps have “body odor.”  Which I’m sure at that time was only a problem for those particular evil guys, and not for anyone else.

They also have the problem of only being able to say nice things about their enemy, just like The Seven did back in Babylon Rising.

“He is not a man who can be bribed or corrupted.  He is too honest.”

“His dedicated religious faith can be twisted and used against him.”

And so it is, as the satraps convince King Darius, who’s apparently not the brightest penny in the jar, to randomly make a law…that will be effective for only one month, that nobody gets to pray to anybody or anything except Darius.

That has to be one of the stupidest laws ever.  Why only a month?  Why not outlaw praying to anyone except the king forever?

But don’t worry—we know that it’s just because Darius is an idiot, since he’s short and chubby.

“Proving again that slightly unattractive people are evil!”

-Crow T. Robot, MST3K, Jack Frost

So Daniel is caught praying to his god, since said god would never, ever understand Daniel holding off, or praying silently, for a whole entire month in order to stay alive.  He is thrown into the den of lions, and they’re smelly, too!  Just like the satraps!

Within minutes, Daniel realizes that the lions aren’t going to attack him.  So, he sits around and starts thinking about how he first came to Babylon.

So, look forward to a flashback within a flashback!



Posted on January 17, 2016, in The Europa Conspiracy. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. It’s obvious these satraps are just scientists, looking to test the efficacy of prayer. Now, we already know that the praying person gets what they want about as often as if they had never prayed at all, but what about the person being prayed to? Does it have any influence in their life? Obviously the ideal subject for this test is someone with a high profile to make it easier for the people to direct their prayers to him or her, making a king quite a desirable subject back when they were performing this test. Run this test for only a month just in case there are undesirable side effects from being prayed to, as well.

    Daniel? He’s just a jerk trying to muddle up the test. And the satraps took their scientific rigor seriously back then.

  2. As usual, these Biblical flashback scenes are the most boring in the whole book. At least they tend to be short.

  3. Oh those silly Babylonians and their obviously false religions. Of course they’d be willing to suspend their ancient traditions for a month whenever an arbitrary law orders them to do so. After all, they know deep down that their gods are fake, unlike the followers of Yahweh who are the only people in the world to know their god is real.

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Roundup for January 22nd, 2016 | The Slacktiverse

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