TEC: Chapter 22: Lovebirds and Arabs

As Murphy planned a couple of chapters ago, he and Isis are meeting up in New York.  They’re at a restaurant at the Pierre, which marks the historic second appearance of the Pierre on this blog!!

(I wonder how much money Murphy got from Laura’s life insurance?  Because he sure likes to hang at swanky joints.)

You’d think the two were here for a romantic date, but there are three obvious indications they are not:

Indication #1:  Isis tries to set the mood, and Murphy shoots her down:

Isis spoke softly.  “There’s something lovely about New York in the evening, isn’t there?”

“You’re right.  I think that since 9/11, when the World Trade Center was destroyed, everyone looks a little differently at the city now.  It sort of brought everyone together.”

Wow, how romantic.  Bringing up 9/11 on a date.

Also, Murphy, I think lots of people found New York romantic and beautiful before 2001.  Just saying.

Indication #2:  Murphy brought a third wheel.

At least two weeks in advance, Murphy invited Levi Abrams along for the ride.  So instead of spending some time alone with this woman he’s falling in love with, Murphy brings his wingman to dinner with him.  Which brings up…

Indication #3:  Murphy hasn’t told Isis how he feels.

Like an asshole, Murphy hasn’t been honest with Isis about his attraction to her.  Now, I hate to give dating advice to RTCs, but in this case, it’s basically biblical:  DON’T BEAR FALSE WITNESS.  If you like a woman, tell her.  Straight up.  Because you look like a slimy player when you play these little games of, “It’s good to see you,” but only want to talk about business, and bring your BFF along on romantic dinner dates.

It’s also interesting to note that Murphy and Levi have a more physical relationship than Murphy and Isis.  Levi gets a hug from Murphy when they meet, which is more than Isis gets.

But forget about Isis’s feelings!  In the space of four pages, Isis is referred to as “stunning,” “beautiful,” “lovely,” and “beautiful” again.  So we all know what’s really important about her.

And once Levi shows up, the talk unsurprisingly turns to business.  The second most important thing about Isis is that she can get funding from the Parchments of Freedom Foundation.  Then, bizarrely, Levi brings up the fact that he is going to Texas because of “rumors that an important transaction is about to take place.”

(I still find is hilarious that secret Mossad agent Levi talks at all times like he’s in the mob.)

When Isis asks what he’s talking about, Levi snottily says it is “Just men talk,” even though Murphy really doesn’t know what’s going on, either.  But this woman who went toe-to-toe with fanatical kidnappers and assassins and came out on top both times wouldn’t be able to handle talk of Levi’s semi-retired Mossad errands.


Oh, and during all this “men talk,” some terrorists are plotting some terrorism stuff at “Aladdin’s Magic Carpet” (no, I’m not kidding).

This is how terrorists talk:

Asim was the first to speak.  “I’m glad you all could make it tonight.  I have received a coded e-mail from Abdul Rachid Makar.  He has instructed us to ready ourselves.”

“You mean that we no longer have to be sleeping warriors?” Ibrahim asked, excited.  “When does our leader want us to strike?”

“Soon, very soon!  The infidel dogs will again face the terror of Allah!  They thought 9/11 was bad.  Won’t they be surprised?”

I think LaHaye and Phillips didn’t know that Team America was satire.

Team America came out in 2004, The Europa Conspiracy was published in 2005.  COINCIDENCE???



Posted on April 19, 2016, in The Europa Conspiracy. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Sure, Levi didn’t tell Murphy either, but never let accuracy get in the way of putting the little woman back in her place. She manages to look beautiful and stunning, and she even promised the man in her life the support of the other men she knows, so she did everything the menfolk expected of her. No need to hurt her poor widdle lady brain on anything else.

    To be fair, Team America did a really good job on its songs. If you’re not paying attention to the lyrics, “America, Fuck Yeah!” really does work as a pumping action beat, “We need a montage” sounds exactly like a montage song, “Only a woman” has the sound of a passionate song and “Pearl Harbor sucks and I miss you” does a great job at appearing as a lost-love balade.

  2. since 9/11, when the World Trade Center was destroyed

    Oh, that 9/11.

    It’s a minor point, but I think it looks strange to see actual digits and a slash used in quoted dialogue instead of spelling out the numbers.

    • Yeah, Phillips keeps doing that, too. Wait until the next chapter, when we hear about Bobby Darin, the singer, and Ralph Lauren, the designer.

      As opposed, yanno, to the other well-known Bobby Darins and Ralph Laurens. 😉

  3. terrorists are plotting some terrorism stuff at “Aladdin’s Magic Carpet”

    I’m imagining them surrounded by lawsuit-resistant, off-model cardboard cutouts of characters from the Disney movie.

  4. Her: “Isn’t it romantic?” Him: “Yeah, it reminds me of death and destruction.”

    NBwaW: “Since 9/11 – you won’t remember 9/11 with your tiny lady-brain, it was when…”

    Levi in my head is the Mall Ninja.

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Roundup for April 22nd, 2016 | The Slacktiverse

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