TEC: Chapter 28: Strange!

Back with Murphy and Isis in the library, and in a five-page chapter, four of the pages are devoted to Murphy reading from Dr. Anderson’s notes, and the last page being Isis’s reaction to them.  And in all this, a certain word keeps being repeated again and again…

But first of all, Anderson has titled his own journal: “The Journal of Harley B. Anderson.”  Now, I haven’t had a diary since the age of 11, but is it really common for grown-ass men to title their professional daily journals as such?  I suspect Dr. Anderson’s diary has copious pictures of unicorns and kitties on the front cover.

But on to the science!

Today J.M. and I were contacted by three men from a group called the Friends of the New World Order.  They want us to artificially inseminate a girl for them.

So that’s how it works, huh?  Strangers just accost doctors who have never successfully managed to artificially inseminate anyone, and ask them to inseminate a random girl, with no reason given?  And you’re okay with that?

We met again with the Friends of the New World Order.  They promised to pay for a fully-equipped lab.

Wait…they came to you for help with this brand-new procedure, and you don’t already have a lab?

That will cost a great deal.

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They said that they had one stipulation–that we would have to keep the entire matter in absolute secrecy.  They are very strange.

STRANGE

J.M. and I met the young woman to be inseminated for the first time.  She seems nice but a little frightened.  Her name is Calinda Anhuis.  She is Romanian, and J.M. had to translate and explain the procedure to her.

Wow, agreeing to inseminate a stranger, sight unseen, and she’s scared.  Nope, no medical ethics problems here that I can see!

Today we received the sperm and egg provided by the Friends of the New World Order.  They would not tell us who the donors were.  Strange!

STRANGE

You know what else is strange?  That they found another unethical doctor to subcontract out the extraction of the egg.

But, nothing doing, they go ahead and implant Calinda, and all appears to proceed as normal (well, as normal as it can be, considering that this is the first time this procedure has actually worked, a fact that causes surprisingly little excitement in the offices of Docs Anderson and J.M.

[J.M.] has fears that we may be doing something illegal.

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We both do not care for the people we have met.  They seem evil.

Wow, and they seemed so nice at first!  With a happy name like Friends of the New World Order and dragging scared teenagers around to give them mysterious and untested medical procedures!

Despite being nervous about their possibly illegal actions and being warned by this mysterious group to keep things quiet, Anderson does some digging and traces the family tree of the new fetus.  Calendars parents are Carmine and Kala Matrinka Anguis.  Egg donor is Keres Mazikeen and her mother is Mariana Yakov and her mother is Zigana Averna.

WHO CARES???

Sperm donor is Alfred Meinrad, a scientist.  Huh.

The baby boy Antichrist is born on April Fools’ Day.  Six weeks later, J.M., who had expressed his fears for months, is killed in a car accident.  This is, according to Anderson, impossible, as it happened in the mountains, where J.M. didn’t like to go, and he “always [drove] under the speed limit.”  If you say so, dude.  I have no idea of my coworkers’ driving habits.

Anyway, cut to Isis and her reaction to all this:

“That does sound very strange, Michael,” Isis said thoughtfully.

STRANGE AGAIN OMG PHILLIPS THE THESAURUS IS FREE ONLINE

Murphy dials it up, confirming that not only is the situation STRANGE, but also EEEEEVIL:

“In my talk with Dr. Anderson before he was killed, he was convinced that they were evil people who had an evil plan of some kind.”

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“He even suggested that he might have helped in the birth of the Anti-Christ.”

“You mean the Anti-Christ of the Bible that you’re always talking about?”

“No, the AntiChrist from Alvin and the Chipmunks—YES THE ANTICHRIST FROM THE BIBLE!”

“The same one,” Murphy said, soberly.

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Y’know, these books would be a lot more fun if I was drunk right now.

So Isis sits there and thinks about her faith.  She reminisces for a whole second on Noah’s Ark, which, hell, I would think about for longer if I was her.  She decides she needs to be “open-minded” and think about making a decision about God.  Sometime in the vague nearish future.

As you would.

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Posted on May 21, 2016, in The Europa Conspiracy. Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. “In my talk with Dr. Anderson before he was killed, he was convinced that they were evil people who had an evil plan of some kind.”

    Probably an evil plan of evil.

  2. I imagine Dr. Anderson doing his artificial insemination experiments in his kitchen before getting a proper lab. Perhaps he invented the turducken in a freak mishap.

  3. “You mean the Anti-Christ of the Bible that you’re always talking about?”

    Since the Bible doesn’t talk about an antichrist in any sense that Murphy does, the answer to Isis’ question is no.

    • Come to think of it, when did Murphy mention it to Isis? I don’t remember him ever talking to her about the Antichrist in the previous books. And we all know that Murphy never bothers talking to Isis unless he needs to mooch of her expertise and resources, so he didn’t bring it up between books either.

  4. inquisitiveraven

    Okay, do the authors not grok the difference between artificial insemination and in vitro fertilization? Because they seem to keep yattering on about the former, but the actual procedure appears to be the latter.

    Also, Henry Burford of the Ivory Tower Methodology of the New World Order wants to know who these idiots from the “Friends of the New World Order” are. They didn’t use in house facilities for the medical procedures and did a poor job of vetting and approaching the outside contractors. They also did an inadequate job of scrubbing any identifying information from the donated gametes. If they actually have anything to do with the NWO, they need to be handed over to Psych Ops for debriefing and counseling. If they’re not connected to the NWO, they need to be picked up for interrogation.

    Seriously, how did Anderson manage to get any information on the gamete donors? I assume the vials didn’t have names on them, code numbers are useless without knowing what facility the gametes came from, and DNA sequencing might work on the sperm, but would probably render the egg useless. They only seem to have gotten the one egg, but presumably the sperm is in the form a of a semen sample which means they could sequence a few individual spermatozoa and still have plenty left for the in vitro fertilization procedure. That said, a sequence can only be compared to recorded sequences and there’s no guarantee that either donor’s DNA sequence is on record anywhere accessible to Anderson and his partner.

    • Because they seem to keep yattering on about the former, but the actual procedure appears to be the latter.

      Yeah, artificial insemination is more than a century old. The first IVF procedure (that wasn’t hushed up by a satanic cabal) was in the mid-70’s so that would’ve made for about a 33 year old Antichrist by the time this book came out. (Today he’d be in his forties, so there goes another one of LaHaye’s prophecies down the drain.)

    • Seriously, how did Anderson manage to get any information on the gamete donors?

      Because LaHaye thinks that this artificial insemination stuff is conducted like breeding show dogs, with all the participants’ bloodlines recorded in a publicly accessible register?

  5. It took Anderson that long to figure out that a shady group that wanted him to artificially inseminate some random girl, a group called “Friends of the New World Order”, might be evil? Did he get weird requests like this from shady groups all the time or something?

    • Why don’t these conspiracies never call themselves “Christian Liberty for American Families Council”? Seems like a much better way to hide from your enemies. And all the secular groups obviously take their marching orders from these Satanists, so they can be quietly ordered to launch only token protests against them. Which the media you control will nonetheless report as vicious attacks. That way the RTCs might end up defending this group.

  6. Anderson was clearly planning ahead to the day when his diary would be published.

    But yeah, this is an extreme case of the villains just not being villainous enough – they’re bringing the Antichrist into the world and murdering people left and right, but they aren’t willing to dress themselves up as, oh, a charity that pays for babies for poor infertile women? (And, well, why not pay for thousands of these IVF treatments? Let those Christians try to find the Antichrist now!)

    Obviously, always driving under the speed limit is a perfect way of making yourself invulnerable to all the other idiots on the road.

  7. A “fully-equipped lab”? Doesn’t he mean a “full-loaded lab”?

    • No, they were only scientists. That’s not a properly manly profession, and it’s not a profession that LaHaye would pick for his own self-insert fanfiction, so they don’t get to be über-masculine.

      (I declare the past three books ample evidence that Murphy doesn’t count as a scientist.)

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Roundup for May 27th, 2016 | The Slacktiverse

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