TEC: Chapter 32: Maybe there were EVEN MOAR Arabs

Well, after that little detour into Crazy Conspiracy County, it’s nice to be back in the world of improbable partnerships between Islamic terrorists and white South African guns-for-hire.

Hey, it could happen!

Oh, and remember when Murphy went to Florida and Talon couldn’t take him out alone, even though he had a CAR and Murphy is kinda a dumbass?  Well, now that Isis is along, Talon has recruited THREE Arab terrorists to search ONE library for the pair.  So, go Isis, I guess.

The Arabs (hey, why bother to learn their names, right?) pretend to be interested in silly things like books, while Talon chats up the librarian.

Oh, and ALSO remember that time Paul Stepola cited Con Air in Soon, even though the movie came out years before he was born and might perhaps not be the kind of film to be considered a must-see classic by subsequent generations?  Well, Tim LaHaye and Bob Phillips share Jenkins’ love for 90s action films, as the interaction between Talon and the librarian mirrors the interaction between the villain and the bank worker in In the Line of Fire.  More on this as the scenes between them progress.

Or…maybe I’ve just seen too many 90s action films.

Anyway, Alvena Smidt is a typical librarian (at least in the minds of LaHaye and Phillips, I guess)–plump, nerdy, bespectacled, with a liking for obscure words, classical music, and polka-dot dresses.  Naturally, she is also a lonely spinster, and is immediately attracted to Talon, especially because she’s South African, and recognizes his accent.  (Which I don’t even think he had in the first book, but I don’t care enough right now to go back and check.)  Talon couldn’t care less about her, since he’s a sociopath she’s a plump librarian, and just asks about Murphy and Isis.

“Oh, yes.  Who could miss that beautiful woman with the red hair.  She looked like a model.”

Isis’s newfound looks-like-a-model status: Confirmed again.

Said looks-like-a-model needs a potty break, so she ambles off, but because she’s a woman, she doesn’t notice Talon or The Arabs.  (The name of my new band!)  As she leaves, Murphy speculates as follows:

Whoever the Friends of the New World Order are, it’s certain that they are powerful and have an evil plan.  They succeeded in killing Dr. Anderson.  Will we be next?

Okay, I have no idea why Murphy thinks that killing Anderson was the work of the Friends of the New World Order.  Talon was behind the wheel of that SUV, and Murphy doesn’t even know that.  For all he knows, in fact, it could just be a random hit-and-run by a crazy driver.  And if the FotNWO wanted Anderson dead…well, Anderson was sitting in that nursing home for years, and they could have killed him in any number of ways, any time they wanted to.

And downstairs in the library, the TENSION MOUNTS, as Talon schools The Arabs on how not to just start shooting at two people in a library, since this will reduce their chances to mount a successful terror operation later.  Is it really so difficult to quietly dispatch two unarmed people in a large and not-very-busy building with tons of places to hide, and why are these guys taking orders from Talon?

Questions for the ages!



Posted on July 5, 2016, in The Europa Conspiracy. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Ah, that’s the root of conspiracy theory: that there are no coincidences. Your friend died? THEY did it.

    (I find the psychology of conspiracy theory fascinating, and I’m inclined to attribute it to false positives in the human pattern-recognition engine – i.e. we’re prone to see connections where there aren’t any, as a way of reducing the number of real connections we don’t see. I rather suspect that much of the religious impulse is the same: it’s comforting to think that things really are running to a grand plan, rather than randomly, even (in the case of the conspiracy theorist) if that plan is an evil one.)

    I am sure there are plenty of plump, nerdy, bespectacled women who are far more attractive than any runway model. I have certainly met several.

    What you really want in this situation is someone who looks as though they fit in in. Librarians don’t wear any kind of uniform in the USA, right? So you get someone vaguely clean-cut and educated-sounding, who can walk up to Our Heroes and say “we’ve got some material that might be relevant to what you were asking about earlier, come this way” – take them into the stairwell, shove them down the steps, shoot them while they’re still stunned. Job done.

  2. Well, of course Isis looks like a model now! She’s well on her way to being Christianified. Remember that in the first book, she was intelligent, independent, and awesome — and described as wearing ugly shapeless sweaters and her skin was the pasty pale tone that those sheltered, snooty academics tend to get from being holed up in their ivory towers.

    The more she gets away from her roots, the more beautiful (and the less awesome) she becomes! *sigh*

  3. Talon and the Arabs would be a good band name. Friends of the New World Order also sounds like a good name for a band. If I ever start a band, I’m calling it Friends of the New World Order.

  4. Patrick Phelan

    “Remember, don’t just start shooting at two people in a library. Wait for them to get somewhere where WAY more people are looking, and then throw some kind of bird at them. An immediately recognisable bird. Then say something vaguely appropriate and trip up on your way out. Oh, and it’s not only okay to forget your keys at home, it’s necessary.”

    “I wish we were in a better book – then we wouldn’t have to take jobs like this – but there’s only so many places for Stereotypical Scheming Arabs. I mean, sure, it’s a… it’s a good industry, but sometimes you take what you can get.”


  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Roundup for July 8th, 2016 | The Slacktiverse

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