TEC: Chapter 38: Michael Murphy, Symbologist

Levi and David have triumphantly escaped to Mexico.

“Wait till [the first responders] go in the shed and find the Arabs and the RPGs.  That will cause a stir in quiet old Presidio.”  David grinned.

“Haha, I blew my entire mission and turned this whole situation into national news!  It’s FUNNY!”

Naturally, when Levi and David sit down in a little cantina to examine the mysterious box, the first Mexican they meet is the owner, who shakes them down for a fee to sit there, seeing as how they’re “wet Americans.”  Why this Mexican man thinks these two Israeli men are American is anyone’s guess.

All that’s in the box, turns out, are stacks of $20 bills and one little $1 bill, lovingly sealed in a plastic baggie.  It features extra “markings,” and Levi knows just the guy who can interpret this piece of terrorism evidence.

ROBERT LANGDON, WORLD-RENOWNED SYMBOLOGIST!!!

Nope, it’s Murphy, of course.  Because his (alleged) expertise in Biblical archeology has given him perfect knowledge of modern terrorist codes.

Since LaHaye and Phillips don’t, I’m going to supply a picture of a bill so you can follow along at home.

United_States_one_dollar_bill,_obverse.jpg

“Inside of the [right side] seal is a shield.  At the top of the shield is a set of scales, and at the bottom is a key.  Someone has circled the key in pen.  In the open space next to the seal, someone has drawn a crescent moon pointing downward.  There are what look like three talons coming off the points of the crescent moon.  And below the moon are two pyramids forming a six-pointed star.  It is exactly the same as the tattoo on the Arab who fell into the alley.”

Hey, remember when Irish-American Murphy had to remind Israeli Jew Levi Abrams on what a Star of David looks like?  Good times.

“It sounds like Talon is again involved in this.”

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Continuing!

“Below the green seal are three letters–RDD.”

“[On the left side of the bill] is someone’s name: Lenni Lenape.”

Murphy IMMEDIATELY (and I mean that, like in one page), figures out this terrorist code:

“The key is circled.  It probably means that this dollar bill is the key or carrier of a coded message.  The name of the person is another clue.”

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Boy, sure is a good thing Levi called Murphy instead of ACTUAL spies and code experts in the Mossad!

And surely the Mossad could never boast Michael Murphy’s extensive experience with Wikipedia:

“Lenni Lenape is the name of a tribe of American Indians.  They lived in the wooded areas around Delaware, New Jersey, and New York.  …  The Lenni Lenape Indians had a large encampment on top of the New Jersey Palisades.  It overlooked the Hudson River.”

“The site of the original Lenni Lenape encampment is now called Fort Lee.  It is from Fort Lee on top of the Palisades that you begin to cross the George Washington Bridge.  You travel on highway I-95 from New Jersey to Washington Heights in Upper Manhattan.”

“That’s it!  That’s it, Michael.  The George Washington Bridge!  It must be their target!”

Um, yeah.  I guess that must be it.

REALLY?????

I mean honestly, Talon or some higher-up in Talon’s terrorist organization wrote the words “Lenni Lenape” on a $1 bill and it was just assumed that the Arab recipients of the bill would understand that those words meant “bomb the George Washington Bridge”???

First of all, like I said, how would the Arab terrorists be expected to know about Native American tribes and exactly where they used to be settled?  And second of all, why bother with all the smoke and mirrors?  If somebody saw a $1 bill that just so happened to have the words “GW Bridge” scribbled on it, I doubt their first assumption would be “this must be a code to a terrorist plot!”

And the most important question I can think of is: why does this “key” bill still even exist?  Once the Moar Arabs received it and got their target, wouldn’t they promptly burn up the bill?  It doesn’t exactly contain a lot of information: just confirmation that it’s for the Talon Terrorist Cell, and the clue to the target.

But no, the Moar Arabs sealed it in a baggie and put it in a relatively obvious hiding space.  Why, so it was there for reference in case they ever forgot who they worked for and where they were going to put the bomb?

And you know what’s really sad?  This basically makes this Talon Cell the most incompetent terrorists ever, and they STILL figured out David was a spy within thirty seconds of seeing him.

But never mind all that!  The important thing here is that Murphy is RIGHT!  And he has emotions and stuff about the George Washington Bridge being bombed:

“That would be a terrible target for us!”

“As opposed to all the good targets they could have chosen!”

And Murphy knows it’s a terrible target because Wikipedia told him so:

“Three hundred thousand vehicles cross the span a day.  It’s the only fourteen-lane suspension bridge ever built, and it’s the thirteenth longest main suspension bridge in the world.  It’s a National Historic Civil Engineering Landmark.”

Remember, everyone, Phillips would have us believe that Murphy pulled these factoids right out of his ass.  In the middle of the night.

YOU KNOW, THERE ARE OTHER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAT YOU CAN READ BESIDES WIKIPEDIA, MURPHY!

Grrr…

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Posted on August 23, 2016, in The Europa Conspiracy. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. But Murphy is already an expert in the complete works of Tim LaHaye, so what really else is there but Wikipedia trivia?

  2. Oh, I’m sure Murphy has a long list of good targets he’d like to see bombed. Reason Rally, Planned Parenthood, Democratic Party HQ, the ACLU. Oh, and the UN building, but they already hit that one with paint.

  3. why does this “key” bill still even exist?

    Most realistic explanation: the Moar Arabs, knowing their enemies, just scribbled down some random mysterious-looking nonsense to use as a distraction.

  4. They occasionally get together with agents of the Global Community and sigh over how long it takes the so-called heroes to figure things out.

  5. “It’s from the Federal Reserve…”
    “Right.”
    “It’s from a BANK.”
    “Well, I am a professor, so I think I know that.”
    “There is a KEY circled.”
    “I can see that!”
    “And a crescent MOON drawn above it.”
    “Yes.”
    “And the name of a tribe that lived in New York written on the back.”
    “Exactly.”
    “Bank Key Moon, New York.”
    “I know you don’t respect my profession, and honestly the ratio of reading to punching is much much greater than any job should demand but Levi, give me some credit to…”
    “BAN KI MOON.”
    “I know!”
    “New York!”
    “YES!”
    “And you think that means ‘blow up a bridge’.”
    “What else could it mean!?”
    “I think they’re going to kill the head of the UN.”
    “Really?… because… I mean, it’s not that I’m, you know, alright with that but…”

  6. Wow, the terrorists’ plans are almost as stupid as Murphy’s ridiculously stupid plans.

  7. Well, they look like tough manly men, so obviously they’re Americans.

    I’m sure Murphy is also reading “how to have a Properly Biblical Marriage”. Unless he’s writing it of course.

    As for the tradecraft… OK, let’s say you want to pass a message from Operative A to Operative B, and they can’t be seen having a conversation. There’s a standard answer to this: the dead drop. Live drops are a whole lot more risky. And there are standard ways of concealing messages in case of capture, too, which don’t involve this sort of easily-misunderstood nonsense. (Also, let’s consider that J. Random Arab Terrorist was expected to understand this message, which doesn’t make Murphy look so very smart for solving it.)

    Hey, Pastor Bob likes Wikipedia, maybe he should read https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clandestine_HUMINT_operational_techniques .

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Roundup for August 26th, 2016 | The Slacktiverse

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