TEC: Chapters 43 and 44: Something Desperately Wrong

Chapter 43 is itsy-bitsy—it takes place at the United Nations, and we are introduced to a young assistant named Kara Setter…whose only purpose is to be trampled in the panic caused by the “major terrorist alert for New York City.”

Now, I have no idea at all what security measures for the UN entail in a post-9/11 world (or a pre-9/11 world, for that matter), but I would certainly hope that they’re better than convening a meeting, the result of which is to “send everyone either to their homes or to a safe location.”  I mean, way to keep track of everyone!

So, now that we’ve established that the UN exists, we cut back to the bridge, where two officers in a police helicopter offer this helpful commentary:

“Look at that mess!” Griffin exclaimed.

“It looks like absolute panic,” Goodale responded.

Not sure how a massive traffic jam can be described as “absolute panic” when, by Phillips’ own admission, is just a bunch of cars that can’t move.  Doesn’t that describe many people’s morning commute?

On the ground, Norm and Jim hear that there might be a terrorist alert (“Code T“) and immediately grab their guns out, because “they both knew there was something desperately wrong with two Arab rollerbladers on the ground and four Arab maintenance workers nearby.”

Yeah, Arabs in New York City!  What a horrific shock, eh?  But of course, there is no such thing as an innocent Arab on the George Washington Bridge, so the rollerbladers start shooting at Norm and Jim.

Why?  You got me.  Its not like Norm and Jim were doing anything to stop the attack.

(Oh, and in an odd change, Phillips has started referring to Norm and Jim by their last names (Huffman and Daniels, if you care) in this chapter, as opposed to their first names, as he did two chapters ago.  But I will continue to call them Norm and Jim because it pleases me to do so.)

So Norm and Jim are hit center mass, but our secondary heroes are wearing bulletproof vests, so they’re just knocked off their feet.  Phillips quickly reassures us that “they had just been caught off guard,” so there’s no reason to doubt their manliness or anything.  Indeed, they shoot back and kill the evil Arab rollerbladers dead.  Serves them right for being so suspicious as to rollerblade.  And I still don’t understand why the evil Arab rollerbladers opened fire in the first place.

Especially because they’re awfully near those equally-suspicious Arab maintenance workers…who also open fire on Norm and Jim, despite standing near a truck full of “high-powered explosives.”  (Not the dirty bomb.)  (I think.)

Surprise, surprise—the truck is hit and blows up.  So, good?  Bad?  I’m honestly not sure what purpose that truck served, and if it was ever intended to be blown up, and if so, when?  Once again, were Norm and Jim really that much of a threat to their nefarious plan…whatever it was?

Anyway, at about the same time, yet another terrorist causes a small explosion, this one taking out “the power circuit to the bridge cameras.”  Which seems a bizarrely redundant thing to do since they’re going to destroy the whole bridge in about a minute anyway, but whatever.  So the terrorist wanders off down the bridge, mission accomplished, though catching the attention of a random commuter named Kevin, who considers said walking Arab to be only “weird” until he hears both the terrorism alert and the explosion, upon which “it all fell into place.  He must be part of the terrorist group.

Well, of course he must be.  He’s an Arab!  On the George Washington Bridge!  Such a circumstance is far too crazy to be anything but terrorism!

So get this: Kevin ditches his car and tackles the guy.  Because he’s an Arab on the bridge, you see!  And then other commuters see the fight, and jump in to help Kevin, the guy who tackled a dark-skinned man!  Because they “put two and two together,” and two plus two equals All Arabs Are Terrorists.

So in a matter of seconds, multiple men are beating on an Arab man…because he’s Arab.  Because remember that not one of these men have seen the Arab do anything.

No longer would people sit idly by as America was destroyed.

Best way to keep America from being destroyed: tackle any Arab-looking person you see!

Feels like a Trump campaign ad.


Posted on September 12, 2016, in The Europa Conspiracy. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. “Code T”? Excellent. Mr. T will solve this problem.

  2. I find the idea of shooting guns that can knock police officers over while wearing rollerblades to be mildly amusing. Like something you’d see in a Police Academy movie, as they go rolling backward from the recoil.

  3. Remember, racial profiling is Right and Good and never gets anything wrong. This book just demonstrated it for us! What do you mean it’s fiction? Since when does that matter?

  4. If the bad guys hadn’t opened fire first, then there might have been some doubt about whether the Real Americans were right to shoot them. (Not in the minds of the RTCs, obviously, they know that Real Americans are always right to shoot non-white people.) It’s Greedo all over again.

  5. I think the “Look at this mess” comment was actually referring to the plot. (The terrorist plot or the book’s plot, you ask? Yes.) It’s as if the 9/11 terrorists had a group of henchmen who bombed the WTC souvenir shop in preparation for the air plane crashes.

    Though that stupidity isn’t enough to drown out the awfulness of this narrator gushing with praise about naked and violent racism. Yay, no longer will America stand by and not lynch anyone with the wrong skin colour who happens to be near a panic.

    I guess we should be happy the UN chapter didn’t say that there were cheers of joy at the news that their allies were about to strike at the hated Americans, and that the time was almost right for their takeover.

    But maybe that’s what all the conspirators at the UN building will do now that the announcement has sent all the low level clerks to their houses. If not, I don’t see what the point of that chapter was. Except to show them fleeing home instead of tackling the first Arab they see, like real Americans.

  6. Off topic note for RubyTea: I’ll soon have time to write a review of the third apocalypse movie. You want it split into three parts?

  7. InquisitiveRaven

    I would think that a potential target like the UN would have regular evacuation drills specifically to avoid incidents like this.

    Also, why is the UN chapter apparently before shit actually goes down? I’d expect it to happen after things happened on the bridge unless there’s something I’m missing. FTM, why are they evacuating the UN building at all? I checked Google Maps, and the GWB is waythehell north practically to the Bronx on the West Side, crossing, as several people noted, the Hudson River while the UN building is quite firmly midtown on the East Side, almost on top of the East River. It’s as if where Jenkins overstated the length of Manhattan, Phillips severely underestimated it.

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Roundup for September 16th, 2016 | The Slacktiverse

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