TEC: Chapter 46: Back to Babylon…Again

Once again, Phillips fears you might have forgotten that there’s this whole Biblical archeology thing that the story hangs on.  You might well have forgotten, what with the terrorist attacks and pointless murders of innocent librarians.

So once-a-freaking-gain, we head back to Babylon.  It’s been ten chapters since we were last here, but in Babylon time, only a few minutes have passed.  God wrote on the wall and Daniel was called for in Chapter 36; now, Daniel shows up.  King Belshazzar begs him to interpret the writing, and tells him that he’ll give him purple robes and stuff.

Daniel is all like,


“You can keep all your gifts.  I am quite satisfied with my woolen robe.”

Sure, dude, you just stand by your principles like that.

There’s nothing here that you can’t find in Chapter 5 of Daniel: you suck, king, you’re going to lose it all, death and destruction, yada yada yada.

And, in both the Bible and this book, the king gives Daniel the fancy robe and the gold chains anyway.  And Daniel accepts them.  Cause hey, why not?

And of course, THAT VERY NIGHT, Belshazzar is overthrown by Darius.  God is always so punctual like that, eh?

Darius, btw, is the guy who will end up throwing Daniel into the lions’ den.  So Daniel doesn’t have the best luck ever when it comes to kings.

Posted on September 28, 2016, in The Europa Conspiracy. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. I can see why LaHaye might like this. It shows divine prophecy as magical fortune telling instead of a call for change. I mean, this warning proved about as useful and relevant as the one in The Appointment. But the utter lack of effect doesn’t matter, as long as the stupid smelly heathens are properly impressed by god’s amazing foresight.

    Which admittedly could work. Hey, LaHaye: If you can get god to conjure a disembodied hand writing on my wall right now, telling me about the coming Rapture and Tribulation, I’ll be willing to believe it and you.

    No, nothing so far….

    • And if god did write a message on your wall, you wouldn’t be able to read it. Because god likes to give his warnings in a language that the recipient can’t understand. Even if you summoned all the wise men in the land (which in this day and age means googling it, I suppose) you still couldn’t make any sense of it. So unless you have a eunuch slave from a foreign country standing by, I think you’re stuck.

  2. Incidentally, apart from the terrorist plot still fitting as badly with the rest of the plot as ever, I also notice that it doesn’t have anything to do with the book’s title. I mean, it was More Arabs sneaking in through Mexico along with the scary More Illegal Aliens attacking the US, at the behest of a South African. Europe is about the only continent that wasn’t involved in any of this. Is the title as ill-fitting as it seems, or are we gonna get another subplot thrown in?

  3. These Babylon chapters really don’t seem to fit with the rest of the book at all. What does this retelling of the Book of Daniel have to do with Murphy stopping the Moar Arabs from blowing up a bridge?

    • You know, I kept saying that the Moar Arab plot didn’t have anything to do with the rest of the book, but… yeah, by page count your complaint is equally valid. The whole Biblical Indiana Jones thing can by now be qualified as a subplot, so anything related to that can now be said not to fit.

      These books always spend entirely too much time faffing about before the promised daring adventures started, but it’s been getting worse. The first book had an overly long lead-up to the about framing Christians for terrorism that went nowhere, but it did involve the protagonist’s wife dying, so I suppose it could be considered part of the character building. (Even if the protagonist just decided to keep doing what he was already doing, but now to honor his wife.) And after that, we got a little of the globe-trotting we’d expect.

      I’ve already forgotten what the second book wasted out time with, except that it involved Talon murdering and stealing shit, but I do remember it only left room for one location to travel to. Still, at least they spend quite a bit of time and pages in Turkey.

      And now we’re at chapter 46 of the third book and our “hero” still hasn’t even begun to pack his suitcase, so busy has the book been building a ramshackle conspiracy about everyone RTCs hate, and the heroic lynching of anyone who looks Arabic in order to save the day.

      Still, it probably didn’t hurt the book’s sales. Because it’s target audience couldn’t give two shits about the outside world, except that every trace and influence of it must be purged from the U S of A. They’re far more interested in reading about all the evils they imagine they have to face in their own lives than about trips to nasty countries with dirty smelly foreigners in them.

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Roundup for September 30th, 2016 | The Slacktiverse

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