TEC: Chapter 47: Back to the Real Babylon
Back in barely-post-attempted-terror-attack New York, the U.N. Security Council has beat its collective cheeks to the Newark Airport. That seems a helluva place to go while the city is panicking from a terror alert, since it’s an hour’s drive away under better conditions than that, but there they are. Maybe they took helicopters? Maybe?
Anyway, they chat about emergency plans and protecting employees, then the eeeevil members of the Security Council propose the most eeeevil thing ever–moving the U.N. headquarters out of New York!
The French guy, Jacques Verney, brings up Plan 7216, which is to get the U.N. out of the U.S.:
“I believe these types of attacks will continue as long as the United Stated continues to follow its godlike dreams to control the world and how it functions.”
Oh, yeah, leave it to the French to be unAmerican!
Vladimir Karkoff, permanent member from the Russian Federation, said forcefully, “It does not seem like the United States is prepared to deal with terrorists in its own country.”
Well, that’s a hard point to argue, seeing as how this current attack was foiled by a random trucker, a mob of racists, and an archeology professor being directed by Mossad agents sitting in a cantina in Mexico.
The Indian member also voices concern with U.S. policies, and when the brown man questions America, that’s when the U.S. member, Warren Watson, finally gets ticked, yelling at his fellow member because India is poor and hungry:
“I can’t believe your attitude!”
Yeah! Ingrates! And it is not at all proving my imperialistic attitude to say that people from poorer countries should bow down to us and never voice their own opinions!
Then the Chinese guy jumps in, proposing China for a location, but the evil Frenchman counters with Babylon:
“I talked to Helmut Weber, the ambassador from Germany, and his country is most supportive of such a move.”
The French and the Germans are in on this?!? Figures.
Warren Watson and his surrogate, er, fellow member, Carlton Thorndyke of the U.K., are so horrified and “fuming” that they literally cannot speak. Terribly professional and level-headed of them.
At this point, I would like to propose a collective giggle at Phillips’ choices of names.
And so, we see The Seven’s (they’ll stop at nothing!) plan put into action: the eeeevil U.N. members propose talking about this at the next General Assembly meeting!
Surely nothing so dire has ever taken place. Except maybe an hour’s drive away, where two bombs almost went off.