TPCR: Chapter 18 and Chapter 19, Part 1
Kathryn Springer has a thankless task just now: she has to tie together the loose ends for everyone, starting with the reveal of the poisoner/dress slasher/badge and gun thief/poisoner again. Granted, that might be kinda exciting, except that I haven’t read any of the previous books and have no idea about who is really who.
The whole family gathers at Erin’s cafe to make the food for the Teenage Wedding. This is also part of Sheriff Cousin’s cunning plan (so cunning you could brush your teeth with it!)—he’s installed two surveillance cameras at the cafe, so that when they all leave to go caroling later and all the Teenage Wedding food is around, they can catch the poisoner on tape!
Okay, admittedly, this plan is not as stupid as I thought it would be, coming as it is from Sheriff Cousin.
Just before they get started on the food, Some Bitch (Cousin Arabella’s mom) shows up to help. Everyone is kinda rude and dismissive to her, which seems at least a bit unChristian of them, especially considering they just ended a freaking prayer circle.
Anyway, they make some food and then it’s time for caroling and Erin has to double back for her mittens. This allows her to accidentally catch the poisoner in the act…
IT WAS SOME BITCH ALL ALONG!!!
Was this meant to be a surprise? Because Some Bitch is the only names character still at large who it could possibly be, since it’s obviously not going to be any of the heroes or heroines from the other books.
Also, she was making her villainy kinda transparent: the only other time we see her in this book, she just randomly showed up at Erin’s cafe to insult her.
No real reason is offered for all this initially, other than Some Bitch is “crazy” and “unhinged.” Turns out she had secretly sided with the Bad Side of the family, because she was angry with Grandpa Asshat for making this bizarre scheme to give the grandchildren stuff, instead of her.
Honestly, when I write it down like that, it’s hard not to understand where she’s coming from. Not that it excuses food poisoning or anything, but I get why she’s upset.
Hilariously, Some Bitch tries to pin the poisoning on Erin, as the entire rest of the family crowds back into the cafe kitchen. (Weren’t they just caroling? Why did they all come back when they had no reason to suspect anything was happening?)
Even more hilariously, Erin “wasn’t even sure what she could say in her defense.”
Um, Erin? Cameras? Did you really forget that this is all on film?
Apparently, because Erin is received when Lucan immediately comes to er defense.
If Lucas believed her, maybe the others would, too.
Yeah, or maybe they’ll watch the tape from the camera they just set up!
Sheriff Cousin finally points this out, though we don’t hear the reaction of Erin going…
Nope, Some Bitch is escorted off by Sheriff Cousin, and the wimmins focus on the really important issue:
“We’ll have to throw away all this food now,” Vivienne said in a low voice. “What are we going to do?”
Um, check the tape to see what Some Bitch actually tampered with? I mean, she had only five minutes, it couldn’t possibly have been everything.
But I guess Vivienne has forgotten about the cameras, too. Makes sense, since it has been 90 whole seconds since Sheriff Cousin directly mentioned them.
What is it with Christian romance characters that they have the memories of goldfish?