TEoD: Chapter 7: Sparkling Eyes

So, while Murphy was busy getting his ass handed to him by ninjas and, umm…big guys, Shari was working until 2 a.m. grading “all the book reports and test papers.”

I continue to be astonished that book reports are even a thing in a supposedly-advanced archaeology class.  Did Phillips and LaHaye not remember college at all?

(Well, LaHaye went to Bob Jones University, so maybe book reports were a thing, after all…)

Anyway, for her hard work, Murphy gives Shari a hearty “thanks,” and Shari’s eyes twinkle.  Ew.

Murphy then regales Shari with an account of the abandoned underground amusement park with ninjas (and yes, when I actually type it out like that, it does sound a bit silly, doesn’t it?) and his theory of what Meth wants him to find.

Murphy blathers on about the ark of the covenant, getting Shari’s hopes up:

“You don’t think he’s found the Ark, do you?” Shari’s eyes were wide with excitement.  “That would be one of the greatest archaeological finds ever!”

Well, I guess so, Shari.  And I know you don’t own a TV and all, but are you sure you want to find this thing?

But no.  Apparently conceding that he shot his wad with the whole Noah’s Ark thing (an ark which, as we saw, remains lost), it is declared that Meth wants Murphy to re-find two of the three things which were apparently in the Ark (and then, I guess, lost somehow): Aaron’s Rod and a gold jar that held manna.

But Murphy is still at a loss about the whole “King Yamani” thing.  So Shari suggests that he enlist Isis’s help.  Or, as she puts it:

“I’ll give you a clue.  Stunningly beautiful.  Red hair.  Sparkling green eyes.”

Okay, first of all, Shari, that’s three clues.  Second of all, it’s just kinda odd that you characterize Isis as “stunningly beautiful” and her eyes as “sparkling.”

Except that Phillips is apparently contractually obligated to always refer to Isis’s eyes as “sparkling.”  Have I missed something all my life?  I know people with beautiful eyes, but none of them sparkle.  Or twinkle, like Shari’s.  Maybe Phillips is just really into sparkling vampires.

giphy4

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Posted on May 2, 2017, in The Edge of Darkness. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. I suspect LaHaye, at least, does remember his classes, and that’s exactly what’s going on here: “I’ve never taken an advanced archaeology class, but surely it’s just like the beginning English class I took.”

    You know, Shari, if you have the hots for Isis, there are much more sympathetic ears for that news than your creepy exploitative fundamentalist professor’s.

  2. He’s searching for the what now? Noah’s Cookie jar? Sheesh, the impressiveness of the treasures is going down. I had to really think to remember what he even found last time (though that’s also because so little of that book was spend on the archeology), but at least it was something I heard of. If this book’s treasure is even lamer, I fear we’re going to spend even more time on sideplots.

  3. Maybe he’s engaging with the metaplot. “Noah’s Ark was obviously too impressive. Proof denies faith, and all that. But maybe if I find something really trivial, God will let me keep it.”

    That’s not a sparkle in Isisbot’s eyes, it’s the rangefinding laser.

  4. Oh, Shari…you really should be the hero of this series. You do all the work for the Hero, make all the deductions, and even, do his civilian job, and yet…I wonder if we ought to hook her up with Vadinho from Puma-Man. There’s a reason why Crow, after a while, says, “Our hero is this guy. I think it’s time we face that.”

  5. I had some history courses in college that were, if I recall correctly, around 300-level and involved a lot of book reports. But those were classes specifically about reading a lot of literature on a specific topic and then researching (and writing) further on the subject matter of each book we had to read.

    That said, none of my higher-level archaeology courses got that way. The one that sticks out most in my memory was about a comprehensive view of the history, ethics, and yes actual field work of archaeology of the ancient Mayans in Central America (including learning some about the modern Maya people, which is where no little bit of the “ethics” part comes in since it’s their archaeological and cultural heritage).

    Still, I can at least imagine an archaeology course that spends a lot of time with the literature on a subject and requires reflection in the form of book reports (they would probably just be called “papers” because “book report” sounds painfully grade school), but, uh… what the hell would Murphy even require students to read and write about, other than the Bible? I’d say it must get dreadfully dull to get nothing but your own opinions regurgitated back at you semester after semester, but then again we’re talking about LaHaye protagonists who would love the ego-stroking involved in people in a subordinate position just repeating after them.

  6. The way she describes Isis here, it sounds like Shari is doing a poor job of hiding her own feelings for Isis. Though considering how she treated Paul in previous books of this series, I don’t think Shari would be much better for Isis than Murphy.

  7. Of course Meth isn’t trying to lead Murphy to the Ark itself. He’s keeping that shit for himself.

  8. Wait a minute. Aaron’s Rod and a jar of manna IN the Ark? Did LaHaye forget how long after the Deluge the Exodus was?!

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Roundup for May 5th, 2017 | The Slacktiverse

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