TEoD: Chapter 10: Diner Dive
Murphy heads off to the diner to see Pastor Bob, just like he went off to the diner to see Pastor Bob in the previous books. And once again, we learn again that the diner is old-fashioned and features a fat waitress named Rosanne. (HA! It’s funny because she’s fat!) (At least according to LaHaye and Phillips.)
And she waddles. Because of course she does.
And good to know that Pastor Bob hasn’t changed a bit, either. Paunch, slacks and polo shirt, golf. Gotcha. And the men order what they order each and every time. Because new experiences are scary for the world-traveling archaeologist, I guess.
Anyway, Bob, the PASTOR OF THE CHURCH, has contacted Murphy, one of his parishioners, for advice on a spiritual matter. Yep, that’s how wise and spiritual Murphy is—his own pastor needs his advice.
On faith healing, of all things. See, there’s a new faith healer in town, a tent evangelist by the name of J.B. Sonstad. Bob finds the man “disturbing,” because he does the ole “Yes, Lord? There’s a lady named Gloria in row B who suffers from irritable bowel syndrome. Be HEAL-AHD, Gloria!”
“I don’t think that is how God works. Do you have any thoughts?”
This is the PASTOR. Fishing for assistance with a rival preacher from one of his parishioners.
Murphy thinks this whole faith healing thing is “some kind of put-up job.”
And he opines that ole J.B. might be some sorta end-times false prophet, like my woobie, Leon Fortunato.
So they decide to go to one of the ten revivals in person to check it out.
Also, Bob is concerned because he’s heard rumors that “some of the young people might be experimenting with the occult. You know, things like using a Ouija board and table tipping.”
Table tipping, really? That’s still a thing? I mean, wasn’t that the hot thing with the young folks back in the days of Harry Houdini?
I guess it’s still a thing, though, because Murphy “witnessed” it in college. (Or course he only witnessed it, and didn’t participate. I can just picture a 20-year-old Murphy, sipping a lemonade and giving the stinkeye to giggling friends doing magic tricks.)
Murphy found it “eerie,” and at the time, dismissed it all as “crazy” and “some type of trick.” Now older and wiser and with “a lot more experience with ancient gods and pagan worship,” he thinks that “some of the things are fake and some of them may be real.”
Hmmm…could it be…
Yes, that’s right: with age and experience has come the realization that there are evil spirits out there, tipping tables and releasing ghosts with Ouija boards.
Bob expresses a desire to “nip this in the bud,” since “people are beginning to ask questions” (HORRORS!!) and as a pastor, he never thought he’d be called upon to answer people’s questions about spiritual matters. That’s what random parishioners are for! Good thing Murphy, the true expert on God, is around to handle such things.
Granted, neither man has the slightest idea how to “nip this in the bud,” so they just cut the scene with a joke about Roseanne and table tipping—she wants a 20% tip.