TEoD: Chapter 10: Diner Dive

Murphy heads off to the diner to see Pastor Bob, just like he went off to the diner to see Pastor Bob in the previous books.  And once again, we learn again that the diner is old-fashioned and features a fat waitress named Rosanne.  (HA!  It’s funny because she’s fat!)  (At least according to LaHaye and Phillips.)

And she waddles.  Because of course she does.

And good to know that Pastor Bob hasn’t changed a bit, either.  Paunch, slacks and polo shirt, golf.  Gotcha.  And the men order what they order each and every time.  Because new experiences are scary for the world-traveling archaeologist, I guess.

Anyway, Bob, the PASTOR OF THE CHURCH, has contacted Murphy, one of his parishioners, for advice on a spiritual matter.  Yep, that’s how wise and spiritual Murphy is—his own pastor needs his advice.

On faith healing, of all things.  See, there’s a new faith healer in town, a tent evangelist by the name of J.B. Sonstad.  Bob finds the man “disturbing,” because he does the ole “Yes, Lord?  There’s a lady named Gloria in row B who suffers from irritable bowel syndrome. Be HEAL-AHD, Gloria!”

“I don’t think that is how God works.  Do you have any thoughts?”

This is the PASTOR.  Fishing for assistance with a rival preacher from one of his parishioners.

Murphy thinks this whole faith healing thing is “some kind of put-up job.”


What now?

And he opines that ole J.B. might be some sorta end-times false prophet, like my woobie, Leon Fortunato.

So they decide to go to one of the ten revivals in person to check it out.

Also, Bob is concerned because he’s heard rumors that “some of the young people might be experimenting with the occult.  You know, things like using a Ouija board and table tipping.”

Table tipping, really?  That’s still a thing?  I mean, wasn’t that the hot thing with the young folks back in the days of Harry Houdini?

I guess it’s still a thing, though, because Murphy “witnessed” it in college.  (Or course he only witnessed it, and didn’t participate.  I can just picture a 20-year-old Murphy, sipping a lemonade and giving the stinkeye to giggling friends doing magic tricks.)

Murphy found it “eerie,” and at the time, dismissed it all as “crazy” and “some type of trick.”  Now older and wiser and with “a lot more experience with ancient gods and pagan worship,” he thinks that “some of the things are fake and some of them may be real.”

Hmmm…could it be…


Yes, that’s right: with age and experience has come the realization that there are evil spirits out there, tipping tables and releasing ghosts with Ouija boards.

Bob expresses a desire to “nip this in the bud,” since “people are beginning to ask questions” (HORRORS!!) and as a pastor, he never thought he’d be called upon to answer people’s questions about spiritual matters.  That’s what random parishioners are for!  Good thing Murphy, the true expert on God, is around to handle such things.

Granted, neither man has the slightest idea how to “nip this in the bud,” so they just cut the scene with a joke about Roseanne and table tipping—she wants a 20% tip.



Posted on June 18, 2017, in The Edge of Darkness. Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. Huh. And I thought 20% to the staff was just a standard tip (unless they sneezed on your lunch or something gross).

  2. I don’t know where LaHaye and Phillips got the idea, but I’m pretty sure most “faith healing” preachers don’t do anything with Ouija boards or similar “occult” nonsense. And they probably didn’t have Murphy and Pastor Bob come up with any ideas for how to “nip it in the bud” because if you can get people to realize that faith healer preachers are frauds, they might start to wonder if other kinds of preachers are frauds as well.

    • It’s like that fake preacher in Soon. Christian preachers in RTC literature either believe exactly what the author believes, or they’re involved with every sinful practice the author can think of.

  3. Pastor Bob has a paunch. Roseanne waddles. Uh-huh. No, I’m not seeing a bias here.

    Murphy tried ectoplasm in college, but he didn’t inhale.

  4. Oh well, it’ll be nice to have the book take potshots at a different target than us for a change. Shall we make a betting pool how many of the criticisms it’s going to level at this faith healing church apply just as much to LaHaye’s faith?

  5. I don’t think that is how God works.

    Understandable. This is a Tim LaHaye-based universe, so God mostly works through widespread mayhem.

    • “The woman was miraculously cured, but the six unbelievers living in her appartement building didn’t drown in their own blood? Very suspicious, and probably satanic.”

    • Also: If Jesus counts as god and the gospels are accurate historical accounts, then yeah, God works like that. Or used to anyway. Before the advent of video cameras.

  6. All this drama over Ouija when Hasbro sells a truly disturbing game: Operation.

  7. ‘So they decide to go to one of the ten revivals in person to check it out.’

    You know, if this faith healer is so good at what he does that he brought people back from the dead ten distinct times, this guy isn’t just magic, he’s legendary. I mean, Jesus only ever ressurected two people, and one of them was himself! No wonder Murphy and Pastor Bob think he’s Satanic: he’s showing up their BFF in the sky!

    (Yeah, I know this is just a typo on your end, but it’s fun to picture Bob going ‘Well, this guy’s already brought nine people back to life, but there’s no way he can do it a tenth time! It’s total baloney, I tell you!”)

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Roundup for June 23rd, 2017 | The Slacktiverse

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