TEoD: Chapter 55: More Mossad

Seeing as how Murphy has come on this particular adventure with only his good pal Levi (no Isis, because he isn’t pseudo-dating her anymore; no students or assistants or colleagues, because a Manly Man doesn’t need to share the glory), it makes sense that another character would be provided.  Then, we don’t have two strapping Manly Men sweating at a dig site all by themselves, like they’re gay or something.

By the way, does it strike anyone else as odd that Levi is ALWAYS available to Murphy?  Go to Israel on a random archaeological dig?  Sure!  I mean, is his job at the Mossad to just smooth Murphy’s way at any time?  Doesn’t he have a family?  (I mean, he does, because they are mentioned in Babylon Rising, but I think Phillips forgot.)

Anyway, I guess the Mossad specializes in providing guys who can just go anywhere and help Michael Murphy at the drop of a hat, because here’s another: Gideon.  While Levi was picking Murphy up at the airport and then taking him out to breakfast, Gideon was just chilling the whole time at the dig site, because this trained Mossad agent of thirteen years had absolutely nothing better to do with his time.

He also has two entire lines in this chapter.  So, there’s that.

So Murphy and Levi show up and there are introductions all around.  Amusingly, but in keeping with the theme of this series, Murphy is “Michael” to Levi, “Dr. Murphy” to trained Mossad agent Gideon, who is apparently volunteering his time out of the goodness of his heart.

Not one to waste any more time now that he has actually gotten off the couch after 53 chapters, Murphy just plunges right into Discovery.  He picks a wall that “there might be something behind,” and Gideon looks at it and makes the first of his two contributions:

“Dr. Murphy.  Come and look at the mortar around these rocks.  It looks different.”

If this seems confusing, it is to me, too.  I have zero picture in my mind of what these guys are looking at.  There is no description beyond the rather confounding: “Look how the hillside rises behind the wall.  The hillside looks like it was cut out.

With utmost respect for the historicity of the site, Murphy just plops down and chips at the mortar with a knife (use the right tool for the right job, Murph!).  He opines that the mortar is fresh and finds “a cavity” behind it.  Levi volunteers the use of a shovel he has in the back of his car, because they didn’t bring any other equipment.  (No, really.)

Perhaps coming to terms with his uselessness, Gideon volunteers to stay behind while Murphy and Levi crawl into the hole, and also to check on three cars that have been here the whole time that the men are only just now even slightly curious about.

The hole turns out to be a tunnel/passageway, and the guys head down it, and whaddaya know, it just so happens to lead to “some kind of secret room”!

It’s just that simple!

(Also, it’s not so secret, seeing as how it was at the end of a corridor with hooks for lamps, at the end of which was an archway leading to the room itself.)

This “secret room,” Murphy opines, was a “storage chamber for the temple [of Dagon].”  (So, why would a storage room have to be secret, then?)

Murph and Levi survey the walls, and decide that someone was recently trying to chip away at them, to no avail.  Then they hear popping sounds coming from the other side of the wall, and Desert Storm vet Murphy has to look to Levi to figure out they were gunshots.  Geez, no kidding, eh?

The men decide to need to head towards the gunshots, and try to find a way through the wall.  Again, it’s Levi to the rescue, as he is the one to remember Meth’s advice to push on the king’s head, which Levi interprets to mean the king of the jungle, because there is a lion’s head carved in the wall.  So they push, and in an Indiana Jones-ish fashion, the wall slides open.

Cliffhanger!

 

 

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Posted on August 19, 2018, in The Edge of Darkness. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. You know, I’ll take Indiana Jones’ blatant disregard for archeological practice because it’s the 1930s and people didn’t know any better, and because literal race against the fucking Nazis.

    What’s Murphy Murph’s excuse? The cabal of the seven? Please, they’re basically a wine tasting club.

    • but but but They Stop At Nothing! Surely that excuses all? /s

      Murphy’s excuse is that he never studied actual archaeology. He got his “degree” from a mail-order diploma mill or an unaccredited Christian college (per my head canon) and had a wife who was amazingly lucky at literally falling into ancient finds. Thus, he was perfectly qualified to teach his one single class in Biblical Archaeology and Prophecy at a school where the alumni demanded more “Bible-based” courses and where his non-psychology-major wife provided counseling services.

      • I reckon Murphy had One Big Find, in his very early days, and he’s basically been coasting on the reputation from that ever since. Realistic Murphy hopes that nobody ever finds out he faked it.

    • That, plus Indiana Jones generally didn’t waste time doing nothing important for most of the story until close to the end when the writers finally remembered “oops, he was supposed to be looking for an artifact!” I think the writers of these books initially wanted to make Murphy be a fundie Christian version of Indiana Jones, but then as they kept writing more books of this series they got their main character more and more sidetracked with boring pointless nonsense. Murphy should’ve started looking for the artifact about 50 chapters ago.

  2. Wow, this reeks of the authors not caring anymore. Not just the zero-research presentation of archeology, but the descriptions of the wall looking ‘different’ and Murphy magically finding the hidden storeroom in no time at all. This is supposed to be the main plot of the book, right, and not Murphy’s non-adventures in insulting people?

  3. Per the second book, the CIA’s main job is covering up biblical archeology sites. So sure, the Mossad’s main job is uncovering them.

    So Murphy only finds the site because Methuselah was there first and didn’t use old mortar to cover his tracks. Again, what does Methuselah need Murphy for?

    Sigh, how many allies of Murphy need to die before he starts taking suspicious cars seriously? And Tell Aviv would be a smoking crater by now if the Mossad was this careless. Yeah, send one agent to check out three suspicious cars with 3 to 15 people in them. Helping Murphy is just so urgent, his partner can’t spend 10 minutes to back him up.

    • Ah, but Murphy’s so manly and cool, even professional intelligence agents drop everything in order to help him.

      • Safeguarding my nation from Moar Arabs can wait. After spending weeks upgrading to a better supermodel girlfriend, helping an incompetent preacher recover his wayward flock from various conmen, and generally dicking around, Murphy now wants to find an artifact ASAP. If we don’t hurry this up, we may have to spend more than 5% of this story on archeological adventures.

  4. Brian Shanahan

    FFS, my only archeological expertise is watching Time Team, and yet I’ve more skills than Murph in that area.

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Roundup for August 24th, 2018 | The Slacktiverse

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