Cozy Christmas: Epilogue

Happy New Year!

It was a few days after Christmas when Josh held his movie screening, but now some time has passed, and if I wait until the real time for their wedding, it would be June.

So, this is the last chance in the series to get everyone name-checked.  All of the couples from the previous books are bridesmaids or groomsmen, natch (hey, no had feelings towards Josh, I guess!), except for Allison and Sam, the bookstore couple, who just got married themselves and are on their honeymoon.

(In fact, five out of the six couples, I think, get married between January and June

And there is at least one bright spot in this book, because this happens:

Melissa Montclair, nee Sweeney, dashed up at the last minute to take her place as one of the bridesmaids.  “The cake’s fine.  Brian put the finishing touches on it without getting frosting on his tux,” she said breathlessly.

So I am taking this to mean that Brian told Josh and Robert Randall that they could take the job in the new tech plant and SHOVE IT, and he is still wearing an APRON and working with his wife.

Yeah, this is actually the only thing that is cool about this book.

In fact, bizarrely, we get no mention whatsoever of Coraline, Robert, or the plant.  Now, I know we’re supposed to assume that everything went to plan and the town was saved…again.  But hey, at least I can dream that a few people told Robert exactly what they think of him, “nasty ex” or not.

Anyway, we can’t have something cool happen without also having weird and/or jerks things happen, and Whitney condescendingly spares a smile for bridesmaid Gracie, “delighted that she and her Patrick had finally tied the knot, too.”  Emphasis mine, because…finally?  They are the Book 3 couple and that book came out in August, which means they went from meeting to wedding in ten months, at the very most.  So what this really is, is a catty comment on Whitney’s part, because Gracie had been engaged before, and became a “runaway bride” when her fiance cheated on her.  So, ha-ha, she’s finally married.  Tee.  Hee.

So it’s a big wedding, so basically the whole town can come, and this becomes important as Whitney is standing there waiting to walk down the aisle: Whitney tells her mom that Josh thought she wanted a big wedding.  Her mom reveals:

“It’s my fault.  And Susanna’s [Josh’s mom].  We were the ones who convinced him you needed a fancy shindig so everybody in Bygones could share the moment. … It’s a good thing you and Josh never compared notes about it or we wouldn’t be standing here right now.”

Yeah.  I…guesses.  Man, if there’s one thing this book isn’t lacking, it’s multiple manipulative women.

No word on whether the nasty ex comes to the wedding, btw.

Anyway, when Whitney gets up there, she tells Josh, and he’s blown away, because turns out they both would have been just as happy eloping.

Whitney says:

“From now on, we need to promise to talk more.”

I mean, really?  Once we got engaged, my now-husband and I started a discussion on wedding size, like, two days later.  And this discussion lasted over multiple weeks.  And I just for the life of me cannot envision a scenario wherein our mothers could have convinced each of us that the other person wanted something completely different than what they actually wanted.  So, yeah, some lessons in basic communication just might be in order for Whitney and Josh.

But hey, from a RTC standpoint, at least they got to have the wedding of their mothers’ dreams.  And that’s what’s important.

Man, overall, this year’s Wintermas selection just didn’t fire on all cylinders for me.  It was just kinda low-level offensive and dumb, but without the goofy insanity of our own gold standard, Christmas Town.  Eh, better luck next Wintermas.

And in the meantime, I might hit a Christian movie or two before my next planned book.  And speaking of Hank, I might rope him in…

 

 

Posted on January 1, 2019, in Christmas, Cozy Christmas (In Progress). Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.

  1. I was hoping there’d be at least one decent character in this book, but that didn’t happen and they were all unlikeable jerks. Maybe some of the main characters from the other books in this series are ok people, but I don’t know because they only got brief mentions in this book if they were mentioned at all. Maybe that one high school kid Josh hired to work at his coffee shop isn’t a jerk, but who knows since he only has a couple appearances and he doesn’t say or do much. If I’d been reading this book I don’t think I would’ve been able to finish it, because I generally prefer at least one of the major characters in a book I read be likeable.

  2. I agree completely. There was nothing good or interesting about this story as far as I could tell. Yet while the characters were jerks, they weren’t proper assholes that you can get really angry at either.

    Perhaps next year, if no promising candidate for a good Christmas romance book is available, you can scan the candidate books’ descriptions for stories where one of the prospective spouses isn’t an RTC yet. Prostelyzing usually brings out the asshole in RTC writers and their characters. Doubly so if you could find a rare RTC romance story with the man being the RTC, for maximum smug condecension which doesn’t seem fitting with the alleged love they’re supposed to feel.

  3. The Christian™ is kind of pasted on in this book, but the patriarchal culture runs all the way through.

    (Though I like to think that Robert and Coraline didn’t turn up to the wedding because of chronic sexual exhaustion.)

  4. These two are going to hate each other within a year, definitely by the time their baby is three months old. (I assume getting Whitney pregnant is their first priority. Not that they’ve discussed it with each other.)

  5. Have you got a new project in mind RubyTea? We seem to have run out of misadventures of the Murphmeister and the abomination that is Paul Stepola.

    And would people still be interested in seeing the next (two) Apocalypse films exhaustively disected?

    • I have a new book probably ready for February, and was planning to do movies for January. Gonna look through my list tonight. 😉

      I, for one, would love another guest review!

      • Please do Kingdom Come… (Yeah, I know it’s been the popular thing lately).

        How about Dry Bones from Jerry Jenkins, alternatively? There’s a book all about California written by someone who hates it.

        • Oh. Yeah. Holy crap, I am for SURE doing the Dry Bones book. I really want to see if the creator of Paul Apostle can top himself!

          • A tough act to follow. But this is Jerry Jenkins we’re talking about. If anyone can think of something worse than cheering as the heroes dehydrate California’s mayor population center in the middle of summer, it’d be him.

          • I actually offered Jenkins to stay at my place while he was working on Dry Bones (my argument was that the people of, say, Sausalito would never abandon the place, the housboats are earthquake proof and they definitely have enough resource and DIY spirits to set up a desalinator if required). He said that my offer came too late and that part of the book had been finalized already, but he’ll keep it in mind if he ever writes a sequel. I am OK with that.

          • I obviously prefer the version I wrote, but… Hey, I found your next snark, if that’s your thing!

  6. Does anyone know if Ruby is all right? Since what happened to Snell, I get worried about people when they go quiet.

  7. What does RTC mean? I keep seeing that acronym on site, but I don’t know what it’s supposed to stand for.

    • Okay, apparently it stands for “Redemptive Transformation of Culture” – but I had never heard of that, and I was raised Christian. I started moving away from it over a decade ago.

      I still wish you would make it easy to find, though – since Wikipedia was no help, and Google is also not very helpful.

      • InquisitiveRaven

        As used here and on the Slacktivist blog, “RTC” stands for “Real, True Christian,” a bit of sarcasm directed at conservative Christian sects that view all sects other than theirs as false Christians. AFAIK, Fred Clark coined the phrase in one of his Left Behind deconstructions.

        • Thank you very much! That makes a lot of sense. It’s apparently not one of the more common internet acronyms, so I couldn’t make heads or tails of what that was supposed to mean. None of what was suggested at Wikipedia seemed to fit.

          I came here looking for a review on the film Time Changers that wasn’t from a Fundy (or RTC, you might say) perspective. Then I read that a major actor from the film went RTC, but the Wikipedia article linked didn’t give any clue of what that might stand for. I thought it was probably some newish Fundamentalist Christian movement that was a defined organization.

          But that does make sense. I’ll also check Fred Clark out. Never read Left Behind. That series sounded to depressing – and, as I began to question my faith, offensive.

          • InquisitiveRaven

            Fred Clark’s blog, Slacktivist, can be found at Patheos under “Progressive Christian.” He has a rather different perspective from an atheist like Ruby and can tell you all the ways that he doesn’t consider Left Behind to be Christian.

  1. Pingback: Deconstruction Roundup for January 4th, 2019 | The Slacktiverse

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